


Dreams and Drumsticks

by tsubasa_quill



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Tegomass
Genre: Alternate Universe, Band Fic, Childhood Friends, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 21:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 21,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9143308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsubasa_quill/pseuds/tsubasa_quill
Summary: At a tiny studio in the heart of Tokyo, five aspiring musicians struggle to achieve their dreams against all odds.





	1. Pulsating Noise

**Author's Note:**

> An old fic posted at my live journal account ages ago. In honor of Jump's tenth year... I'm attempting to have a total of 10 fics on my dash to start the year including some of my old fics that I personally like. I've done new editing, but I'm warning you beforehand about the cheese.
> 
> This fic was a Yuto bday dedication as well as a fic dedicated to my two oldest LJ friends. It draws its inspiration from Yuto's penned song, DASH!
> 
> Original RUN: 14 October 2010 - 22 June 2011

 

“Ni-san, are you okay?”  
  
Yuto pulled his knees closer to himself, wrapping his shaking arms around them. His body was completely drenched with sweat and the cold morning air sneaking in from the partly open window was making him shiver. He gazed up hazily at the smaller form of his brother in his black school uniform and took a few seconds to nod his response.  
  
“I’m fine, you’re going to be late for school,” he said weakly but curtly, resting his back against the headboard.

His voice sounded weak and raspy, the room spinning as shut his eyes.

“But…,” began Raiya, eyes wide in apprehension and moist with concern.   
  
“I’m fine, now go will you!”  
  
Yuto scowled and turned his face towards the window. The way his brother had flinched at his harsh tone made him guilty but he just didn't want to be seen this way. Not when he was his most vulnerable.

He sighed as his mother entered the room and gently pushed the younger boy out before closing the door behind her. Yuto ignored the sudden weight next to him and clenched his eyes shut.  
  
He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now.  
  
“You’ve been ignoring your medication again haven’t you?”  
  
She frowned as she heard no reply.  
  
“Yuto, you know how damaging these nightmares are to your health, don’t you?” she chided.  
  
“I don’t care, I rather not sleep than take those pills and injections,” he grunted. He heard her sigh before she literally wrestled him into a headlock.  
  
“Mama!” he whined as she planted a forceful kiss on the top of his head.  
  
“You forgot who you are dealing with mister 'I'm emo leave me be'. I carried you for nine long months and 10 days...! Back then you were refusing to leave-,”  
  
“Ew Mama stop! Not with _that_ again PLEASE!”   
  
Yuto pouted as she detached herself from him, laughing. He watched her silently as she bustled about his messy desk and pulled a plastic wrapped syringe from the medicine box. She then moved swiftly to the small refrigerator next to his door and withdrew a tiny glass bottle filled with clear liquid. He reached out his arm as she tied the tourniquet above his elbow and waited till the brief pain from the needle disappeared.  
  
He sighed deeply, pulling off the tourniquet.  
  
“Your body can’t handle this stress darling, and it’s about time you accepted it and took better care of yourself,” she said gently hoisting him onto his feet. The door opened slightly and Yuto smiled as he saw Raiya peeking in with big eyes, right underneath his father who seemed to be doing the same.  
  
“We’re done, you can come in now,” Yuto’s mother said and shook her head as Raiya snuggled up into his brother’s open arms.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Yuto said stroking the boy’s hair. Raiya shook his head.  
  
“It’s okay, you do this like every morning ni-chan,” he replied with a playful smile. Feeling sheepish Yuto ruffled his hair.  
  
“Now seriously, get going,” he said pushing the boy off. Raiya pouted.  
  
“Iie ne... Ni-chan doesn’t have to go to school anymore,” Raiya whined shuffling out of the door. Yuto turned to his bedside table as   
his phone's message bell rang.  
  
“Do you need me to drop you to the library?” his father offered. Yuto shook his head.  
  
“I have to meet up with the band later,” he informed them, reaching for his phone.  
  
He smiled at the text displayed on the screen.

  
_Be there at 4.00 or I’ll eat your drums  
_

_love Hikaru_.

~*~

  
_The city is alive with a vibrant beat. I plug in my earphones and slip my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, as they’re the first parts of my body to get affected by the surrounding chill. I watch the footsteps shuffling upon the concrete…soft thumps against a solid surface. I wonder if these pedestrians have even realized the harmony elicited by their actions….probably not._  
  
Everything has a rhythm. The way the traffic lights change, the flow of people crossing the road…like subtle strokes on cymbals…  
I wonder back to the studio I’m heading for. Well, it’s more of a tiny room with what we like to believe are soundproof walls.

_But it’s all we could get to start it all.  
_

_I hope Hikaru-kun’s already paid his rent. It’s really a storage room in the basement of the building his apartment’s at. It’s a good thing his Landlord is fond of music and was kind enough to lend it to us for practice._  
  
Ha!  
  
I can feel people staring at me as I moonwalk towards the other side of the road. I end up on the pavement with a swift twirl and laugh. I can’t help it. The music blaring through my headphones is too good to resist. I can’t help but not stay still.

 _It’s all about the beat….the rhythm…it’s what my senses are trained for._  
  
I hear footsteps and smile. I know that rhythm. I know it very well. My best friend’s found me, from among the thousands of bodies moving in the vicinity.   
  
Maybe that’s why we’re friends.   
  
I hear this strange metallic sound. I hear speed but it’s uncontrolled…painful to the ears. A clamor of distorted sounds breaking the rhythm.  
  
It's getting closer… why are people screaming?  
  
The boy felt his heartbeat quicken as he heard the screeching of wheels on the granite road and flinched as the headlights of an out-of-control vehicle made him temporarily blind.  
  
“YUTO!”

~*~


	2. Assembling

 

Yuto could feel the course granite under his cheek as he lay on his side, watching the speeding car come to a screeching halt almost 4 feet from him. He could feel his heart rate descending from a pounding to a soft thump-thump as he remained still, catching his breath. A shiver ran through his body, thoughts of what would have happened if he hadn't been pulled away in time replaying in his head in many gory forms.

“Yuto, please tell me you're still alive,”  
  
Yuto groaned, trying to get rid of the horrifying self-conjured images. It was always easier after his injections. He allowed himself to be pulled into a sitting position before smiling up at his very concerned rescuer. He held up his hands and did the PPAP move.  
  
Keito shook his head in frustration.  
  
“What a great start to a week huh? Really puts a damper on the whole Monday blues thing," Yuto began cheerily as Keito helped him onto his feet.

"Don't make me regret saving you brat," replied the other boy, sounding more relieved than angry.

Yuto looped an arm around Keito’s more muscular one as he began half-dragging the older (by a few months) boy. Keito kept tugging at the edges of his hat, hoping it would swallow his entire head but to no avail. He didn’t like people staring at him…well they were actually more concentrated on the tall boy chattering non-stop next to him (who almost got run over by a car a few seconds ago) but still... 

He was so glad they were only 10 minutes from Hikaru's place.

~*~

“How was college?” Yuto asked interestedly as they entered through the door of an old building, stepping into its dim passageway.  
  
“Cool,”  
  
“How can it just be cool Keito? For a boy of such creative disposition, I would expect a wider range of vocabulary,”  
  
Both boys jumped as they spotted the speaker standing by the door to the basement. The dim light threw golden highlights upon the loose curls   
framing his delicate features but his eyes were sharp, serious.  
  
“Inoo-chan?” Keito perked up, smiling. Yuto giggled. Keito, flustered, smacked him on the head.  
  
“Now where in the world is that idiot, we’ll be standing out here the whole day unless he shows up with the practice room keys,” Inoo grumbled, folding his   
arms.  
  
“He seems to have lost them,”   
  
Yuto jumped once again at the voice that had come from right behind him.  
  
“Ryutaro-kun, would you please be kind enough not to pop out like that,” Yuto exclaimed, exaggeratedly clutching his chest.  
  
The landlord’s son just stared at him blankly. Yuto bit his lip, feeling really small for some reason.   
  
“If it’s lost in that sty of his than we better call off today’s practice, I skipped a group study session for this you know,” Inoo said frustrated,   
staring at his watch.  
  
“I’ll go help him, you two stay here and chat,” Yuto suggested taking off immediately with Ryutaro right on his heels.  
  
Keito looked awkwardly at Inoo who just shrugged.

~*~

“Hikaru-kun,” Yuto called out in a sing song voice, pushing the door of his apartment open. He gaped at the scene before him.  
  
The small living room was littered with instant ramen cups, magazines, papers and laundry that should have been washed ages ago. The   
tiny television set was turned on and a kettle was whistling on the stove.  
  
He yelped as Ryutaro pushed him aside and maneuvered professionally across the ‘rugged’ terrain to the kitchen, turning the kettle off.  
  
“Hikaru-chan where are you?” Yuto called out worriedly. His eyes trailed over a mountain of clothes in between the coffee table and the sofa   
and they widened in surprise as he found a hand sticking out of it, a shiny silver key between the fingers.  
  
“Hikaru!” he exclaimed lunging forward and with Ryutaro’s help pulled the older boy out of the mess.  
  
Hikaru shook his head like someone coming out of a daze.  
  
“I couldn’t breathe in there,” he croaked.  
  
“Maybe you should think about cleaning the place once in a while,” Ryutaro chuckled wryly but let out a croaky scream as Hikaru lunged onto him.  
  
“You’re such a pretty smart mouth aren’t you chibi?” Hikaru snarled pinning the struggling boy down. 

Yuto chuckled.  
  
He turned his head as the main door creaked and his smile softened as he spotted the brunette peaking in nervously.  
  
“Oh, newbie, what’s up?” Hikaru exclaimed raising a hand in greeting. The boy nodded silently, returning Yuto’s smile.  
  
“Yuya-kun,” Yuto chirruped running over to the lanky brunette and throwing an arm around his shoulder.  
  
“Yosh!" Hikaru began enthusiastically jumping to his feet, leaving a traumatized teenager on the floor.

"Now that we’re all here, let’s get started,” he added, grinning widely.

 

 ~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned I've done new edits to this fic (I just had to add the PPAP move after seeing the boys do it together lol) buuuuut  
> when I wrote this Inoo was still at Uni, seemed kinda distant and didn't have the now trademark mushroom hair but the slightly longer curly one. This chap was just a superficial introduction of the band.   
> Ryu isn't in the band. Also yes Keito has a slight crush XD


	3. A Space For Secrets

 

Yuto sat on his knees, folding the cloth in his hand and running it over gently, lovingly, over the surface of the drums. He could feel the texture underneath his fingers as he checked for any leftovers of dirt and sighed as the cymbals reverberated slightly. He shut his eyes tight as he felt moisture accumulate in them. How could he love something so much?  
  
He backed off slightly to admire his drum kit. It had been a recent birthday present from his parents.  
  
His parents had always been against him doing something professional with his ‘hobby’. They had seemed even more concerned after he had graduated from high school and had shown indecisiveness about continuing his studies. He was a smart kid, an ambitious kid and he had done pretty well too so nearly everybody had expected him to go on to Uni. But when he had told his parents that he wanted to take some time to contemplate the best course of action for his future he was greeted with a silent understanding he couldn’t really comprehend even more so believe.   
  
It hurt him though because he knew how much his parents wanted him to be like the college-going Keito or the Meiji University attending Inoo for that matter. But he appreciated their patience with him and vowed to accomplish both his dreams and theirs… somehow.  
  
He was going to make them proud. It was one of the _two_ goals he had to accomplish in his life.   
  
He wiped the sweat from his forehead and cast his vision around the room. Takaki Yuya was curled up on the armchair underneath the tiny window, eyes closed. His reddish-brown hair framed a peaceful face and Yuto smiled as he realized how much he had grown to be fond of the older boy’s presence. From his rocker shirts to baggy jeans, Takaki was the epitome of a rock star, hidden under the façade of a layback young man.   
  
Takaki was their lead vocalist and by far the most mysterious person Yuto has ever known. Hikaru had just appeared one day with the man tagging lazily behind and announced to the rest of the band that he had found them a vocalist. Takaki had won their hearts though, with his lazy drawl and shy smile and everyone, with the exception of Inoo, cared nothing about anything that Takaki wasn’t willing to reveal about himself.  
  
His eyes then wandered to their pianist who was busy going through his music notebook. It was a surprise that someone like Inoo would even want to be associated with their lot. Inoo was sophisticated and intelligent, an architect in training and the pride of his very well-off and well-known business family. He held a Pianist's diploma and also a very firm and surprising friendship with Hikaru, who was well the complete opposite.  
  
Yuto laughed as he recalled how he had met the leader of their band, earning confused stares from everybody else in the room. They turned to tend to their own matters soon though as they were used to Yuto’s strange behavior of talking and laughing by himself.   
  
Back when he was a freshman in middle school, a couple of bullies had snatched a certain object from him, threatening to throw it into a river. The object was a very important thing to Yuto and he smiled bitterly as he withdrew it from his pocket. It was a ruffled, faded school badge. Keito had frequently questioned him about it but Yuto couldn't even tell _him_ the mystery behind the badge.  
  
He could still remember that day. Hikaru had always looked like a delinquent for as far as Yuto could remember. He had walked over to them, multiple rings on his fingers, nails painted black and a huge chain around his neck. He had grabbed the bully holding the badge by the collar and had asked for the return of the badge at which the smaller boy had obliged, before taking off with the speed of a professional sprinter.  
  
Hikaru had then given him a toothy grin and a thumbs up before giving him his precious badge back.  
  
“Better learn to take good care of your things you know, shouldn’t let others take em away from you that easy,” he had said.  
  
Yuto had burst into tears and only calmed down after Hikaru had treated him to his favourite ice-cream.  
  
Taking his place behind his drums, the lanky boy twirled a stick in his hand playfully as he watched Hikaru double check the score in his hands.   
  
Hikaru had always sat on a certain park bench, writing and composing songs on his guitar and Yuto had begun to spend his evenings with him right after school.   
  
“I want to start a band, and we will become famous,” he had said excitedly.  
  
“I am a percussionist in the school band, maybe I can help?” Yuto had offered innocently. Hikaru had just given him a friendly smile but when Yuto had managed to compose the accompanying beat for Hikaru’s song by tapping his foot and clicking his fingers, Hikaru had looked at him as if he were a gift from God.   
  
Yuto stretched. He had liked that. He had liked the way Hikaru had given him the awareness of his own talent. He had like the way he was appreciated for something he loved to do.  
  
Yuto had discovered over the years that the reason Hikaru owned an apartment of his own now, was because he came from a very broken home. But still, the way the older boy goofed around and flashed that unique grin of his, it was really hard to tell.  
  
“Yuto, is it okay if we end the rehearsal a bit early today?”  
  
Yuto looked up at Keito’s anxious face with mild surprise but smiled as understanding dawned upon him.  
  
“So,” he began in a low voice.  
  
“Your brother will be home today eh?”  
  
Keito looked a little embarrassed, but he nodded reverently.  
  
“I’ll talk to Hikaru-kun, don’t worry,” Yuto replied cheerfully.   
  
He sighed deeply as he watched the older boy return to his task of tuning and testing his guitar.   
  
Okamoto Keito, their lead guitarist had an even stranger story.  
  
Yuto had met Keito in a Preparation Class during his second year of middle school and the two had become fast friends ever since. Keito's parents were divorced. His father, Okamoto Kenichi was a producer and manager of many well-known young artists. He used to be in a band himself, which is one of the reasons Hikaru had so willingly agreed to have Keito in their group  
  
They were best friends yet there was still so much they couldn’t tell each other. The biggest example was Keito’s mysterious younger brother. Now there was a story in itself.  
  
They weren’t brothers by blood but Keito had never openly acknowledged the existence of a _step_ brother. Yuto could understand very well, being an older brother himself, but unlike him Keito wasn’t allowed to interact with his brother for some reason. Yuto didn’t want to push Keito, no matter how curious he was of this strange setup, mainly because he wanted Keito to let it all out at his own pace. Just like Keito had never pushed him about the Badge. Maybe that’s why they appreciated their friendship so much.   
  
There was enough space to fill.

 

~*~


	4. Blogger-san's Final Request

 

“Yosh! Great work everyone!”  
  
Yuto smiled fondly at the enthusiastic Hikaru. Takaki was staring at the floor, hand still on the microphone, lips twitching from holding back a laugh.

Keito looked really troubled. Ryutaro was curled up in a corner, miraculously asleep.  
  
Inoo shamelessly yawned, rolling his eyes as Hikaru’s face fell.  
  
“Ehhhhh! Kei-chan I was expecting more enthusiasm here!” Hikaru complained, folding his arms.  
  
“Well, it’s a good song," Inoo began pulling a sheet over his keyboard.

"I mean we sound good and it has a fun pace but Hikaru-kun really, 'Love Love Tofu' is a pretty weak debut track,”

There was an awkward silence.  
  
“Oii! I worked hard on that song!” Hikaru bellowed.   
  
“Hey… so are we done for the day?” Keito asked timidly.  
  
“Yeah, I’ve got piles of work to do, see you guys later,” Inoo said shouldering his backpack. Yuto pouted as he watched Hikaru fall into a disappointed heap onto the floor.  
  
Inoo gave the mass on the floor a quick pat as he headed towards the door. Suddenly stopping with a hand on the handle, he turned around and gave a brief bow.  
  
“Otsukaresama!”  
  
Yuto and Takaki replied similarly, smiling. 

Keito, with his guitar case on his back, joined Inoo who managed a quick but affectionate glance at the ball that was Hikaru.  
  
“Otsukaresama Hikaru-chan!” Inoo sang as Keito opened the door for both of them and they departed.  
  
“Whatever,” Hikaru grumbled rolling to lie flat on his chest and facing away from the door.  
  
Yuto pulled the massive cover for his drums over the kit.  
  
“What about Ryutaro-kun?” Takaki asked, hands in his pocket.   
  
“Oh, I’ll take him to his room later, don’t worry about it,” Hikaru replied looking up at him with a grin. Takaki nodded quietly before leaving.  
  
“He actually slept in all that noise,” Yuto commented putting on his jacket. Hikaru hummed in silence. It had become a daily routine anyway;  
Ryutaro coming to watch their practices and then falling asleep midway.  
  
“I wonder what the boy does that gets him so exhausted,” he wondered aloud, getting another hum in reply.  
  
“See you tomorrow Hikaru-kun,”  
  
Hikaru looked up at him and gave him a soft smile.  
  
“Take care kay? Text me when you get home,”  
  
“Haaaai,” Yuto replied, putting on his hat.

 

 

~*~

  
Yuto readjusted his headphones, fingers running over the screen of his phone as he scrolled through the comments section of his latest blog post.  
  
There were still 7 minutes till the next train; enough for a new post.

Leaning against a pillar, he began to type.

 

_Minna-san konbanuu!_

_drummerboy here! It was a lovely day in Tokyo,_

_busy as always..._

_We finally completed a full run of our first single!_

_Can’t tell you about it yet but in due time_

_we’ll let you hear a demo so you can judge it for yourself. ^.^_  
  
_Oh ya… and I almost got hit by a car today._  
  
_and I'm still alive!!!_

_:p  
_

 

He looked up as his train arrived and together with the flow of people drifted into the vehicle. He luckily found an empty seat right next to the door.  He wondered if Ichigo-sama, his top commenter would, as usual, be the first to respond to his post.  
  
As the train started moving, he started tapping his foot along with the music blasting through his headphones, looking at the tired faces all around him. The person right next to him was a teenage boy in a gray jersey and jeans. He had on a huge black cap that shaded most of his face from view and large red earphones. His arms were wrapped around the plastic bags in his lap and he seemed to be very busy texting.  
  
Yuto was only slightly conscious of the stares as he leisurely began air drumming to the songs in his Ipod. Taking out his phone he quickly reconnected to his site; feeling a little satisfied as he saw that the first comment was from the very regular visitor of his blog, someone Yuto had become really fond of over the eight months of his blogging experience.

**1 NEW COMMENT**

  
_Ichigo-sama –_  
  
0_0  
  
_A car? Are you serious dude? That’s crazy! U ok?_

 

Smiling, he got into replying immediately.

 

  
 _drummerboy –_  
  
_Yah I’m gd._

_I was rescued in the nick of time!! ^.^  
_

 

He stretched and stifled a yawn. The person next to him was hunched over his grocery, the phone really close to his face as if wary of any prying eyes. Shaking his head, he continued air drumming. There was a sudden lurch and his neighbour's phone slipped out of his hand. As if by reflex Yuto caught it and returned it to the stunned owner.  
  
The other looked up at him immediately, hitting Yuto’s chin with the edge of his cap and causing his head to bang against the metal pole next to him.  
  
“Gomenasai!” the boy exclaimed, jumping to his feet as the train came to a stop.  
  
Yuto was still seeing stars as the public began exiting the train.

Shaking himself out of the painful stupor, he joined the exiting flow. It took him a few minutes to finally be on the road to home. The evening felt great, with a playlist of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers running on loop and him imagining himself as Chad Smith, and no one around to judge his epic air drumming. While putting his key into the main door he decided to check his phone again.

 

**1 NEW COMMENT**

  
_Ichigo-sama-  
_

_  
Oh my God I almost lost my phone on the train..._

_and then accidentally hit the guy that saved it for me_

_What a great start to a week!  (-_-);_

_I’ve got to go now, talk to u later!  
_

 

Yuto's hand froze on the doorknob.

 

 

  
~*~

  
“Yuto, how was your day?”  
  
Yuto placed his chopsticks down, a contented smile on his face.  
  
“It was great dad we finished an entire song, I’ll sing it for you guys later,” he replied cheerily. His father smiled back but Yuto could see  
the strange hesitancy on his face.  
  
“Medicine time,” his mother said suddenly breaking the poignant silence. She held out her hands and Yuto stared at the colourful pills with a sigh. He took them in his hands and picked up his glass of water.  
  
“I need to do some research before sleeping, I’ll eat the pills in my room,” he announced heading towards the staircase.  
  
“Research?” young Raiya chirruped, interested.  
  
“Is it homework Ni-san?”  
  
Yuto looked at his little brother and chuckled.  
  
“You could say that, good night!”

 

 

 

~*~

  
Yuto sat on his desk, pulled open the lowest drawer and dumped the pills in it. The new tablets joined a few more of their unconsumed comrades in it. Draining the glass of water he turned on his computer.  
  
His gaze lingered on the list of universities on the screen, fingers tapping a rhythmic beat of impatience on the mousepad.  
  
“What should I do? What’s the use of all of this!” he groaned ruffling his hair in frustration. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the badge.  
  
_Where are you?_  
  
Scowling, he logged into his blog site again and started on writing a new entry.

 _Minna-san,_  
  
drummerboy _here!_  
  
_I think I want to talk about something else today, something other than my band or my drums or our singles. I think today, I’m going to tell you all a story._  
  
_It’s a story about a boy I knew a long time ago. A story about a mistake we made together and our consequent separation. I’ve been told again and again that the person I’m looking for no longer exists. But I can’t believe it and I never will. If you all can lend me a bit of your support then please help me look for him too._  
  
_I hope this story will be able to convince you all to help me, in whatever way you can. Spread the word maybe... so it could reach him or someone who knows him._  
  
_Because…I don’t think I will have enough time to look for him myself._

_I need to, I need to apologize, I need to remember what really happened that day... and if he blames me for what happened to him._

_See, the thing is… I'm dying._


	5. Dearly Beloved

 

Keito sighed as he slid the key into the lock and heard a familiar click. He had never said it out loud, but coming back to an empty house after the cheer and ruckus of their rehearsals had always made him feel rather depressed.  
  
He pushed open the door and stumbled into the lounge, throwing the keys onto the coffee table before plopping down onto the couch. He lay with his eyes closed, the ticking of the wall clock being the only sound audible besides his own breathing. Feeling exhausted but unable to actually fall asleep, he clicked his tongue in annoyance and snapped his eyes open. Maybe he should make some instant noodles. He shouldn't have skipped breakfast.  
  
He eyed the DVD box upon the table by his side and picked it up, lazily staring at the names of the cast. His lips tugged into a slight smile though as he read the name Tanaka Keisuke upon it, searching for the face amongst the people on the cover, grinning as he spotted him.  
  
He was a good looking teenager, rising quickly in popularity and was his father’s (a talent agent) most confidential and to-date most personal project.  
  
He looked at his watch. His father must be getting on his flight now to England to take care of some company matters. He tried to swallow his disappointment. It had been days seen they last had a meal together. His father hardly spent any time with him anymore, always too busy and even more so ever since Keisuke became a member of the same industry. It wasn’t like he blamed Keisuke, his father had always been a sort of a workaholic but he's never seen his dad take any other talent as seriously as he was taking Keisuke. He couldn't ignore the slight tinge of jealousy at how obsessed his father seemed with his second son, so involved in his career. They were the Manager-Talent duo that were also father and son.

He was fine with it, he liked Keisuke too much to let it be too much of a bother and then 4 years ago, his father just called him from a cafe in Italy and told him he was banned from interacting with Keisuke. Like he literally said 'do not talk to him even when he is at home, ignore each other completely and do not disobey me no matter what'.

  
After a little coaxing, his dad had explained that he wanted both his sons to live in two different worlds and the only way Keito would not be influenced was that if he’d stay away from Keisuke. Keito hadn’t questioned him further. It didn't make sense to him, like he had his own aims and aspirations and Keisuke's glamorous life was not going to make him feel whatever his dad thought he would feel. But he respected his father too much.

Problem was, Keisuke was a rebel. On the other hand, exceptional at hiding things and keeping secrets.  
  
He got up with a start as he heard the soft beeping of a phone from one of the rooms in their two floored apartment.  
  
_He’s home!_  
  
Getting to his feet, he sighed with relief his eyes fell upon the home-cooked food on the table in plastic wrap. Reaching for it, he saw a post it and the message on it made him smile gratefully.   
  
_I might be asleep when you return… I made the food so eat it!_  
  
That was one more reason Keito couldn’t ignore the presence of his brother. They had an awfully good relationship.  
  
Crumpling up the paper and stuffing it into his jeans pocket (more out of habit than anything), he quickly climbed the stairs.   
  
As he stood upon the threshold of the young star’s room, he shook his head at the hand-made sign hung upon the door.

 **Do not enter! This is my domain and I am its Master!**  
  
He chuckled to himself. Keisuke was such a brat.  
  
Opening the door slightly he cautiously peeked inside, afraid to make any noise that would wake the boy up. He guessed the boy must be exhausted. He had just finished shooting a 10 episode long drama plus a commercial after all.  
  
He spotted Keisuke sprawled upon his bed, still fully clothed with his back to the ceiling. A black cap and a large pair of red headphones lay on the floor not far from him.  
  
Shaking his head he entered the room, closing the door gently behind him. He kneeled next to the bed, trying to take a gauge the current state of his brother.  
  
The room was getting duller, illuminated in the soft golden radiance from the dying sun. The pale lighting seemed to accentuate Keisuke’s boyish features, from his baby smooth skin to his slightly pouted cherry lips. Keito reached out and brushed his bangs, from the scent, recently dyed a honey brown, and frowned at the heavy dark circles underneath his eyes.  
  
“Father sure is hard on you isn’t he?” he whispered softly getting back to his feet. 

Keito wondered if his father ever saw him like this, at home, exhausted and worn out without make-up to cover the signs of it all. 

Knowing how deep a sleeper he really was, Keito managed to get the boy out of his jacket and under the covers. He looked down at the peaceful face of Tanaka Keisuke….known to Japan as a talented teen idol-actor, but to him as Okamoto Keisuke….his beloved sorta-younger brother.  
  
Keito placed a panic induced palm upon his stomach as it growled angrily, making more noise to counter all the caution he had used all this while. He jumped as he heard Keisuke's voice, even in the thick of sleep sounding very amused.  
  
“Go eat idiot,"   
  
Chuckling, Keito nodded.  
  
“Yes sir!”

 

~*~

  
It was the sound of the blender that woke Keito from his slumber. The wall clock showed 9.30 am. He had fallen asleep while watching the television, remote still in his hand.  
  
“Keisuke?”  
  
The latter looked at him in mild surprise and grinned.  
  
“I’m making breakfast!”  
  
“Oh,”  
  
Keito sat in silence as he watched Keisuke bustle in the kitchen in his red apron. The boy had a wide smile on his face yet his eyes seemed completely focused on his task. It didn’t take long before the smell of scrambled eggs and porridge and fresh coffee began to waft in the closed space of their apartment.  
  
“Come,” Keisuke chirruped holding a jug of juice and beckoning him towards the table.  
  
“Itadakimass,” Keito said gratified. He took his seat and began to eat in complete silence, relishing the taste of his hot meal. He stole a quick glance at the other boy happily munching on a piece of toast.

 

"You're home for today?"

"Yup!"

"It's been a while,"

"Ahan,"

"Does dad know?"

"I told him I'm going to be hanging out with work friends and spending the night with one of them, they are well briefed on the situation... you know, _the usual_ ,"

"I sometimes feel like he knows,"

"Probably, maybe not... let's not worry until something actually happens... you know like we get disowned or something,"

"Yeah... sure,"

A few minutes went by in which the porridge was licked clean and coffee was poured and started on. Keisuke seemed absorbed in his phone while Keito stared at the table.

“I went grocery shopping yesterday,” Keisuke said breaking the silence as they made their way through the beverage. Keito looked up at him surprised. Keisuke shook his head, still smiling.  
  
“I was disguised pretty well, don’t worry about that,”  
  
“No, I mean Keisuke, you could’ve just left me a post it of the things we needed, you're schedule is already so crazy,” Keito argued as he watched Keisuke drain his cup.  
  
“I was on my way back from the studio and the market was on the way, it was no problem…and don’t act like you're not busy,”  
  
“I’m fine,” Keito mumbled looking away.   
  
“No way Keito, college, studies and that band… oh yah, how is that coming along?”  
  
Keito beamed. 

   
“Great! We actually completed an entire song!”  
  
“I want to hear it and I want to meet everyone from your band... I haven't even asked how many members there are in it!” Keisuke said cheerily. Keito laughed.

"Yeah we are still working on the members, had someone join recently and all,"

"Any girls in that band of yours?"

"What?"

"Come on! Girl drummers are hot!"

“Alright, alright calm down. You know what, maybe I’ll take you to the studio some time, but keep it a secret from dad okay?”  
  
Keisuke nodded, holding up a piece sign.

The silence resumed.

Keito poked the remnants of his egg with his chopsticks, fighting a battle within his mind. It _was_ the weekend, and he had no apparent plans. He looked up at Keisuke and jumped as he found him watching him, eyes twinkling with amusement.  
  
“I’d love that,” he said and laughed as Keito’s jaw dropped.  
  
“How did you know?” the older boy gasped in disbelief.  
  
“We’re brothers right?”  
  
Keito smiled as Keisuke continued laughing.  
  
“So, what do you want to do?” he asked. Keisuke placed his chopsticks upon his lips and stared up at the ceiling, thinking hard. Keito stared in disbelief.  
  
“Wait, Keisuke, don’t you dare move, I’ll be right back!”  
  
Keisuke’s eyes followed his brother as he dashed up the stairs and into his room, frozen in his current position. His eyes widened as he watched Keito jump steps and lunge onto his chair before holding up his professional camera in front of him.  
  
He blinked back tears at the flash.  
  
“Sorry, the lighting was perfect and you looked so ethereal and I'm studying portraits right now this would make great reference," Keito ranted unabashedly, still out of breath from his dash. Keisuke rolled his eyes.  
  
“You take more of my pictures in there, we are surely getting caught,” he chided but then grinned.  
  
“Let’s go shopping!” he exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air. Keito stared.  
  
“Oh what a manly thing to do!” he retorted sarcastically.  
  
"I know, that's why you love it," Keisuke snapped, smirking at the brand new leather jacket Keito had slept in.  
  
“Okay, fine whatever,” he grumbled. There goes his secret store.   
  
Keisuke stuck his tongue out at him.  
  
“Alright alright, then let me take a quick shower first,” Keito decided standing up.  
  
“Come to my room when you’re done, I need to come up with a disguise... might go in drag,” Keisuke said very seriously, smirking as he watched Keito head to his room shaking his head. Keisuke began clearing the table all the while humming a tune to try and dispel the urge gnawing at the back of his head. He was done with the dishes pretty soon but Keito wasn’t done with his shower. 

Sighing, he finally decided to give in.  
  
He rushed up to his room and turned on his computer. He tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for it to start and threw himself into his chair as soon as it did.  
  
Wasting no time he typed as quickly as he could, frowning as he kept entering the wrong keys in haste. He hated computers. Loved his phone, like with a passion.  
  
He finally managed to log into a certain blog where he only had a reader account and felt excited to see a new entry by his favourite blogger. This guy was a drummer in an indie band yet to debut and unlike Keito's very non-serious group playing music in someone's basement, it seemed like this group was about to hit big. His eyes widened though as he clicked on the entry and read a very strange line.  
  
_See, the truth is…I might die very soon._  
  
“What?”  
  
He leaned back in his chair. Sure, he didn’t really know this drummerboy in real life, and he could very well be bluffing about dying as well, but for some reason, that line made him panic a little.   
  
He had guessed the blogger was rather reserved, but very much compassionate about his music. He had never talked about anything but that and now…all of a sudden, this new story?  
  
It’s not like he would actually get personally involved with this person, that was dangerous… but maybe, a word of comfort or two, just to show drummerboy that he had people believing in him.  
  
He rested his arms on the table and continued to read.

 _I was 7 years old when I first met him, that tiny transfer student. He was so adorable, looking like a lost puppy in the middle of the rest of us. He seemed very nervous as he stood next to our class teacher, head down to avoid the scrutinizing stares of the other students._  
  
_The teacher urged him upon an introduction and he did, stuttering and then flushing with embarrassment. The seat next to me was empty, and I was asked to guide him and I agreed wholeheartedly, excited to be able to make a new friend._  
  
_He was so shy that it caught me off guard, maybe because I was a little too hyper for my own good. It took me almost a week to get him to open up to me and that was only because I asked him to walk home with me. It was a great surprise that we lived quite close to each other._  
  
_We started doing homework together and staying over at each other’s homes on the weekends. We even managed to convince our families to go on a picnic together._  
  
_It was too much fun and the two of us hardly ever fought. We acted like complete idiots when we were together. Nothing else mattered; it was just us against the world._

_Keisuke couldn’t help but chuckle. It gave him a lovely feeling inside and he couldn’t help but badly want a friendship like that for himself._

  
_There was this boy in my class who didn’t exactly like me. I’ve always been the one telling people off, and I guess many people didn’t like me for that…but I was the class head, so I had no other choice. Well, he came up to me once and asked me to follow him. Apparently, one student had injured himself and was now at the roof. I dutifully marched on, letting him lead me only to be cornered by his fury on the desolated rooftop._  
  
_“I hate you! I wish you would just die!”_  
  
_I never had anyone say anything like that to me before and had started crying on the spot. He stood there, laughing at my weakness. I never thought that my best friend would have_ showed _up at the scene. He had pushed the boy with so much strength it caught both of us off guard and then he gave a glare that had seriously terrified the bully before taking me by the hand and leading me back to the class._  
  
_When I had thanked him later that day, on our way back from school, he had cheerily replied;_  
  
_“We have to look out for each other, that’s what friends are for after all.”_  
  
_He had become one of my most prized possessions. But I never thought that I could lose him… ever._  
  
_But I did._  
  
_On one fateful day, under the bridge, by the riverbank where we always played after school, something happened. I was supposed to meet him there but I got caught up in a game with some other friends that lasted longer than I thought._  
  
_When I finally reached the riverbank, I saw to my horror a strange man carrying the limp figure of my beloved best friend. He had quick steps for a man of his size but I got onto following him immediately. I was furious, resolved to rescue my friend by myself. It was stupid of me, now that I think of it._  
  
_He took him to an abandoned shed further down the river. Before I could sneak in, I had been captured as well. It seemed like the man had an accomplice._  
  
_I was thrown roughly against a crate next to where my friend lay in a dazed sleep. I heard them talk about_ ransom _. I tried to squirm out of the binds they had restrained me with but was only met by harsh slaps. I remember crying as they shouted at me and beat me up. I was the extra after all._  
  
_I hadn’t realized that my friend had awakened but he took his chance and rammed himself into one of the kidnappers before yelling at me to escape. I took his hand and we started running along the gushing waters as fast as our feet could carry us. I could hear the infuriated shrieks in the back and had smirked in triumph at our daring escape but the victory lasted merely seconds. An explosive sound rang through the air and the shock made me lose my footing. I fell onto the ground, my head hitting something hard. But before I blacked out, I saw something that made me feel as if I had died before even hitting the ground._  
  
_My friend had fallen into the water…his body covered in crimson. He had been shot._  
  
_I woke up in a hospital a few days later. They told me I was sick. When I had asked about my friend, they said nothing. My body had become really weak for some reason, and I had remained hospitalized for a few months… and when I was discharged… we moved._  
  
_I did my best to find him. I asked people, I searched for his family but by then they had left Japan. When I grew older, I discovered to my horror that by police records, my friend was dead. He had been shot and his body then swept away by the waters of the river. It ended into the sea, and search parties could not locate him._  
  
_The only remnant I have of him is the badge of the private school he had transferred into my school from. It has his name threaded onto it._  
  
_I know this is asking for too much, but my condition has been deteriorating recently. Taking pills isn’t going to work, I know that for sure. I’m tired of this ‘false hope’. But before anything happens, I need to find him… I know he is still alive… call me mad for believing such but I just know he is…so please…help me._  
  
_Help me find him…so I can properly apologize for not being able to protect him…to save him._  
  
_It’s my last wish, my ultimate request…_  
  
_Until the day I stop breathing…I’m going to look for him…that is my final goal._  
  
drummerboy _…signing out._

 

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I gave Keito a brother, I actually enjoyed writing the two very much. Also Keito is studying photography in this AU... this was written the time we were getting a lot of the OK photo corners in magazines so that's where I got the idea. This wasn't really specified in the original run of this fic.  
> Other members of Jump are in this fic but they'll be coming later when I delve further into the backgrounds of every member of the band!
> 
> Thanx for reading!


	6. My Star

 

“Keisuke, what’s wrong? You look really troubled,”  
  
Keito pulled back from where he was about to grab some micorwaveable popcorn, distracted by the way his brother was very obviously spacing out for the nth time. He frowned as he got a simple hum as a response for his concern. It seemed like Keisuke was contemplating hard behind his mask and red-rimmed glasses before finally turning to him with a resolute huff.  
  
“Keito, what will you do if dad finds out we have been disobeying him?”  
  
Keito blinked back, wondering why the stubborn, carefree Keisuke was suddenly the concerned one of the two.  
  
“You’re not planning on telling him are you?” Keito asked after a few moments of bewilderment. Keisuke pulled his beanie lower and diverted his gaze to the shelf behind his brother.  
  
“Do you want some Cream Puffs?” he asked nonchalantly reaching for the confectionaries over the taller boy’s shoulder.

Keito frowned.  
  
“What happened, is there a problem? Do you not like us hanging out like this?” Keito went on, alarmed.

Keisuke stared at him, hesitant.  
  
“No it's nothing,” he said resignedly, as if abandoning an itch for another time. Keito felt irritation bubble inside of him.   
  
“Look Keisuke, it’s fine, you don’t have to keep feeling sorry for me,”  
  
Keisuke felt a little uncomfortable as his usual sweet brother turned towards the cream puffs, looking very pained.  
  
“Why would I need to feel sorry for you?” he asked with caution. It felt like both did have something on their minds... Keisuke just wasn't sure if the issues were the same.

Keito sighed again, knowing that he was about to break and it gave him a bad feeling.  
  
He felt his stomach churn as he realized that they had finally arrived there…the crossroads. He’d have to face this. He needed to get it off his chest and risk the reaction.

Inner peace or ignorant bliss with his brother.  
  
“I’m not as important to dad as you are, but I’m fine with it and I get you seemed to be trying to make up for it by spending time with me… I… just forget it,”  
  
He hated this regret. This was sounding like a bad idea typed and published.  
  
Keito shook his head and started for the counter, but froze in his steps as he heard the basket Keisuke was holding fall hard onto the floor right next to him, the contents clattering all over.  
  
He wheeled around, eyes wide and heart thumping. Keisuke's eyes were bloodshot and hands clenched so tight Keito was afraid the boy was going to hit him.

And then there it was, a lone tear sliding down his cheek and staining the mask.  
  
“Keisuke?”  
  
The boy shoved past him, roughly, urgently and before Keito could even open his mouth again he was out of the convenience store and onto the street. It took him a moment too late to gather himself, apologize to the alarmed customers and staff and bolt out behind his brother.  
  
Keisuke was leaving a trail of irritated pedestrians as he weaved through the crowd, shoulder to shoulders and no apology spoken. 

   
“Keisuke…WAIT!”  


~*~  


“Irrashaimass!”  
  
Hikaru bowed to the couple that had just entered the restaurant, flashing them a friendly smile. He then skipped over to the counter and picked up two menu cards before striding back to their table.  
  
“Welcome to Hiroshi’s Ramen Shop!”  
  
The duo nodded to his greeting, taking the offered menu cards. Leaving them to decide upon their meal, Hikaru backed into a stool by the counter, eyeing the mildly crowded restaurant with a contented sigh. Maria-san, the owner’s wife gave him a nod of approval before resuming her attention to her customer.  
  
“Hey Hikaru-kun,”  
  
He grunted in response to the bespectacled girl on the cashier.  
  
“Check out the cutie on table 5!” she whispered gleefully.  
  
“Why should I?”  
  
The girl gave him an irritated stare. His fellow waiter, Honjo was asleep with his head on the countertop.  
  
“Because-,” she began but Hikaru ignored her and instead flicked Honjo’s forehead real hard. The boy jumped awake, losing his balance and fell magnificently off the stool. He then got up quickly and brushed his apron before striding into the kitchen with a dignified air, ignoring the chuckling waiter.  
  
“So you’d know the type of guys I prefer,” the girl pressed on, waving a hand in front of him to get his attention. Hikaru waved her off but threw a bored glance at the lone person seated on the said table.

He snorted.  
  
“You like the creepy, introverted, studious type?” he deduced taking in the skinny man sitting with his shoulders hunched and head bowed low, eating his ramen in silence. His rather small eyes were framed behind thick black spectacles, scanning a notebook.  
  
“Really Mukoda-san, you have awful taste,” he joked only to get smacked on the head.  
  
“It’s been an entire week since he started coming here for lunch, I think he’s a student from the Uni nearby,” she giggled the entire sentence, watching the young man with great interest.  
  
“Well, as long as he orders a lot and comes regularly,” Hikaru yawned, stretching.  
  
“Shut up, he’s really handsome okay?” she snapped, throwing a soft punch to his shoulder. Giving her the most disgusting scowl he could come up with he tried to discreetly make out more of the man than the mass of his shiny brown hair and lanky figure. So he was a little interested in what the ladies of the current era found attractive, nothing wrong with that!   
  
“I can't make out his face behind those huge specs okay?”  
  
“He seems to really like our ramen, and always has that notebook with him... I wonder what’s in it?”  
  
Hikaru shook his head. That was reaching dangerous, starker-ish obsession now Mukoda.

“Why don't you just go say hi instead of creepily staring at him from behind the counter, you know that doesn't make you ideal wife material,"  
  
“Oh what would you know about that... ne, ne, Hikaru-kun, please go ask his name,”  
  
“Hah! In your dreams,”  
  
Mukoda looked at him like a wounded kitten.  
  
“I said I won’t and I mean it!”  
  
She looked away dramatically, heartbroken and dejected. Hikaru rolled his eyes.  
  
“I can’t just walk up to a customer and start asking questions, he’ll probably look at me like I’m some weirdo and walk away,” he argued, walking past her and into the kitchen.  
  
“Fine! I’ll go ask him myself!” Mukoda huffed.  
  
“Try not to pass out!” he snapped back.

The main cook and owner, Hiroshi-san looked up from the steaming noodles and shook his head at the two youngsters standing with their backs to each other.   
  
“Kids,” he mumbled. His wife, Maria held up a heart made up of her two palms put together.  
  
Hikaru shuffled over onto a bench near the staff lockers and picked up his guitar. He watched Hiroshi-san placing meals onto the counter and ringing the bell and yelling at Honjo for slacking while Mukoda attended a customer by the cashier.   
  
“So much noise yet it's more peaceful than home,” he sighed, leaning against the wall. His fingers worked on the strings of his instruments almost naturally as he started playing random notes.  
  
His lips tugged into a slight smile at the memory of a voice… clear and strong followed by thunderous applause.  
  
He continued playing a piece foreign to his own ears, the random notes sounding like a pretty melody as he reminisced that concert from his junior high days, and the shining star upon the stage…it’s what had started it all of course.  
  
_‘It would be nice if I could hear him sing again’._  
  
He looked up as he heard clapping and widened his eyes as he saw the rest of the staff staring at him, very much impressed.  
  
“That was beautiful, now I know you can actually play that thing,” Hiroshi-san boomed grinning widely.  
  
Hikaru stared at his guitar. He laughed, realizing that he had just composed a song without noticing. The response was pretty awesome. He should probably write it down before it fades from his memory.  
  
Mukoda rushed to him excitedly, startling him as she got to her knees by his side.  
  
“I love you!”  
  
"Eh?" he exclaimed, mouth agape. The rest hooted. Mukoda rolled her eyes.  
  
“Don’t you guys get the wrong idea!” she snapped before turning frantically back to Hikaru.  
  
“That cute guy! He came up to me to pay his bill and he heard you playing, he just stood there watching you and then he asked me whether you were a full-time worker and I said yes you are here every day and then it looked like he was going to ask me your name but he then glanced at his watch and then just bolted out the door!”  
  
“Calm down!” he shrieked as she continued pulling at his arm in her excitement. He squirmed out of her grasp.  
  
“Why the hell are you this breathless over that?” he said with a loud click of his tongue.  
  
“HE TALKED TO ME HIKARU!” she said excitedly before bursting into a fit of giggles. Hikaru gaped at her as if she were mad, which he then concluded she probably was.  
  
“Yo, the dude left his notebook,” Honjo said appearing at the counter with the said object in his hand. Mukoda lunged at him like a fox and snatched it from his grasp.  
  
“She’s freaking dangerous!” Honjo exclaimed wide-eyed, scurrying to hide behind Maria-san.  
  
Mukoda stared at the book, eyes glittering with all her... girly feelings.  
  
“Maybe it has his name written in it!” she squealed excitedly. Hikaru shook his head and got to his feet, searching his pocket for his locker key.

Crazy woman.  
  
“Wow… it's a nice name... kind of suits him,” she said, her face all red and... weird.  
  
“What is it?” Maria-san chimed in, leaning next to the young waitress. Both women ignored Hiroshi-san’s rant about how unethical it was going to be through somebody’s personal stuff just for the sake of curiosity. Hikaru raised his guitar but as he heard the name felt the instrument slip through his fingers and bang loudly against the locker as he tried to catch it.  
  
They all stared at him.  
  
“Hikaru-kun?” Mukoda called out bemused.  
  
“What did you say the name was again?” he asked, his voice low, hands cold. This was too freaky to be a coincidence.  
  
Mukoda frowned but repeated the name anyway.  
  
“It’s written here that this notebook is the property of Yabu Kota.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keisuke's personality has actually been a little altered in my editing lol. It just happened. 
> 
> I've always been YabuHika trash okay... and all my girl OCs in my old fics had girly crushes on Yabu lol... maybe I was trying to tell myself something XD


	7. Nostalgia

 

“Did I say something?”  
  
Honjo shrugged as he and Mukoda eyed the forlorn figure from their usual spots by the counter.   
  
Hikaru was slouched in a chair by the window, the very same table Yabu had previously occupied, staring at the notebook in his hands.  
  
 _Yabu Kota_.

He kept repeating the name in his head, still finding it hard to believe that they had almost met after all these years.  
  
“And we couldn't recognise each other,” he chuckled softly.  
  
“Hikaru-kun?”  
  
He looked up to smile reassuringly at the owner's wife, realising he might have created a bit of a scene.  
  
“Maria-san, he’s my childhood friend,”  
  
The lady nodded encouragingly, taking a seat across the table.  
  
“Oh that’s great!”  
  
“I guess, but I’m not so sure he would remember me by now, we haven’t been in touch since middle school,”  
  
“I’m sure he remembers you, he did seem curious when he saw you playing,” Maria-san responded cheerily.

Hikaru shook his head.  
  
“I think I was fonder of him than he was of me though,” Hikaru mused.  
  
Maria-san frowned. Hikaru looked back at her, the smile never leaving his face.  
  
“He was a prodigy... the celebrity in our school, he had the most amazing voice I’ve ever heard, strong, clear, melodious,”  
  
“Really?”  
  
Hikaru nodded.  
  
“He got scouted by an agency by age 11. He used to sing in concerts and hang around with famous people,”  
  
Maria tilted her head, confused as he let out a soft chuckle. How can someone seem so at peace and happy but at the same time so sad?  
  
“His schedule got busier as we got into middle school and we started to see less of each other and by the end of our last year in middle school,   
he transferred to a private school,”  
  
“Transferred?”  
  
“Yeah, he was becoming increasingly famous and his fans were causing 'disruptions',”  
  
“I see,”  
  
“He seemed so happy, so excited when he said goodbye that day, he loved the stage and he was finally on his way to achieving his   
dreams,”  
  
“It must have been upsetting for you,” Maria voiced her sympathy. Hikaru shrugged rather nonchalantly.  
  
“Well, I had always wanted him to myself, but he was always surrounded by people far more amazing then me, I’m surprised he even hung   
out with me, but I was not a reason for him to let go of his dreams,”  
  
“Sounds like you were his best friend though,” she argued.

Hikaru shook his head, chuckling at her emotional outburst.  
  
“I was just one of his good friends but you know, I fell in love with music because of him,”  
  
“I guess he pretty much inspired you,” Maria said. He grinned, eyes lightening up.  
  
“The funny thing was that once he got caught writing a song during Math class,” he began, a note of nostalgia in his chuckle.  
  
“He was so upset; he threw a tantrum on our way back home from school. He told me it had been a duet for the two of us,”  
  
“What happened to that song?” Maria asked curiously.  
  
“Dunno, he was so upset of being scolded over it that he had thrown it in the trash before it was even done,”  
  
“Pity,”  
  
“Not really, I had fished it out during my cleaning duty after school. It was my parting gift to him,”  
  
“What had he said?”  
  
“He didn’t say anything, he just nodded and waved before leaving. I guess it must have been really stupid of me, I had been so happy   
that he had decided to sing a song with the insignificant me that I went a little overboard,”  
  
Maria smiled softly.  
  
“Possessive weren’t you?” she teased. Hikaru laughed.  
  
“I guess you can say that,” he replied enthusiastically.  
  
“Do you still remember what that song was called?” Maria asked getting to her feet. Hikaru tilted his head, gazing at the notebook in full   
thought but getting no recollection he shook his head.  
  
The bells atop the main doors chimed in welcome of a new customer. Realising the time, Hikaru got to his feet abruptly, the notebook falling open onto the   
floor. He picked it up immediately, afraid to get dust on it. He froze, realising that he was looking at a very familiar piece of paper stapled on a the open page of the book.  
  
He gaped, recognising the hand writing. It was the exact same paper, the one that he had rescued from the trash and given to Yabu. It had the half written song on it. He snapped the book shut.  
  
“He kept it?” he muttered, voicing his disbelief. He gave the book to a very surprised Mukoda.   
  
“He might come for it later, I’m going home,” he said casually.  
  
“Why don’t you give it to him yourself?” Mukoda asked bewildered. Hikaru shrugged, arranging quick steps to the door.  
  
“Not that it makes a difference, Ja!”  
  
Mukoda stared after the retreating figure, a frown on her face.  
  
“That was weird?” she mused and then looked over to Maria-san who just shrugged in return. She placed her finger between the slight gap made by the recent opening of the book and turned to the page Hikaru had freaked out atat. She laughed at the messy scribble, attracting Maria’s attention.  
  
“This is not the handwriting of an adult,” she concluded as Maria peeked from her side. She noticed that the page was only stapled at the top, and there seemed to be something written underneath. Curiosity getting the better of her, she lifted the page and gaped at the neater and more professional prose.  
  
“Tears and Smile,” she said, reading the title aloud.  
  
Her jaw fell though, as she reached the end of the composition. Maria’s eyes widened.  
  
Underneath the last line was written;  
  
 _Dedicated to my inspiration,_  
  
Yaotome Hikaru  


~*~


	8. Coming Clean

 

Takaki dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans before pushing himself off the wall. The voices of the children in the playground echoed through his consciousness like a painful reminder of something he never had. He didn’t know why he did this to himself. Maybe years of mingling with the rest of the harsher world had turned him into a sadist.  
  
The unwanted child… that title was something that took him his entire childhood to grow out off.   
  
He shuffled down the sidewalk, eyes on the ground. Passing adults gave him disapproving looks, school boys gaped in intimidation and girls giggled in admiration. He paid them no heed. He felt numbed to their presence, it’s like people were just like the leaves in the wind... just passing him by.  
  
Loneliness wasn’t just a feeling anymore, it was now the very substance of his existence.  
  
He stumbled as a little boy came crashing into him. The boy fell on his back and started crying immediately. He stared at the little boy, with dirt on his face and tears streaming down his cheeks and sighed.

It took barely a minute for the child’s mother to rush to his aid. Takaki shook his head nonchalantly before walking on.

He took in the scent of freshly watered flowers coming to a stand before the gate of a large traditional house. A wooden hand-made sign hung on its with the words **Shiawase Home** stamped across it in bold letters.  
  
Taking a deep breath he entered the compound, closing the gate behind him.  
  
“Takagi! Okaeri!”  
  
He scowled and rounded upon the speaker. He had to look down though; the other barely reached his knees.  
  
“How many times Shingo, it’s TAKAKI-SAN,”  
  
“Ni-chan!”  
  
“No, definitely no. Nice try, it’s Takaki-san to you brat!”  
  
Little Shingo stared at the towering figure and flashed a toothy grin.  
  
“Hai hai TAKAGI-SAN!”  
  
Takaki groaned in frustration as the elementary school aged kid bounced away, returning to a ball game with three of his friends. Two girls were sitting in the grass playing with old toys and they waved as he passed by.  
  
“It would be really gloomy here without you,”  
  
Takaki shook his head and walked over to the elderly lady watering a nearby flower bed, a toddler on her hip.  
  
“Its not like I could lived here forever you know... man was I glad to finally be able to leave this place,”  
  
Yasuda-san looked at him with a soft smile. The toddler offered Takaki a sweet that had been previously in his mouth. Yasuda-san laughed as Takaki recoiled in disgust.  
  
“I was thinking of handing the place to you, I might deny the fact with my extreme vigor, but I am getting old,” she said putting down the canister and cradling the child.  
  
Takaki leaned against a tree, hands in his pocket and smirked a bit at the woman’s words. He watched the kids playing in the lawn in complete silence before his forehead creased into a frown.   
  
“There shouldn’t be a place like this in the first place; these kids shouldn’t be here,”  
  
“Well they are, and the least we can do is to be there for them right?”  
  
Takaki glared at his feet before nodding with a sigh.  
  
“Not everyone can be as lucky as your old room-mate can they?”  
  
Takaki looked up at her, surprised at the mention of a boy he hadn’t seen in years.  
  
“Yeah, he was lucky, I’m glad he found his parents though, he hated this place,” Takaki mused.  
  
“He’s here Yuya,” Yasuda-san stated seriously, cocking her head towards his room.  
  
“What?” Takaki gasped, bewildered.  
  
“Yes I know, I was pretty much shocked too, but he said that he came to pay us a visit, even brought me flowers and sweets for the rest of the kids,”  
  
“No wonder, Shingo did seem high on sugar,”  
  
Takaki stayed in his position, still trying to comprehend the situation.

"Is that why you called me?"

Yasuda-san nodded.  
  
“He came with his parents and they will be back to pick him up soon. I know you guys had a rough end to your friendship, but since he took the liberty to come back here... and honestly its pretty obvious who he really wants to see so you should at least go say hi,” she advised, wiping the toddlers face.

Takaki was hesitating. He felt nervous.  
  
They had fought before the younger boy had left and that was his last memory of him. The mere thought that he was within a feet from where he now stood made a fresh jab at old wounds. It was curious though. Why would he ever come back?

With an encouraging smile from his old caretaker he began to climb up the wooden steps and thumped his way towards his old room. Taking off his shoes, he placed a hand on the door.

It had been years. He wondered how much the other boy might have changed in this time.   
  
Gulping down his anxiety he slid open the door and stepped in. He jumped slightly at the sight of a figure curled atop the futon. The boy’s eyes fluttered open at the light pouring in from the open door and his lips curled into a soft smile.  
  
“Yuyan?” he asked, voice reasonable tempered by puberty as he sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Takaki continued staring. He had changed… a lot.  
  
It was when the other gave him a confused look that Takaki had found his voice.  
  
“Chinen?”

~*~

  
Keisuke ran with all his might like nothing else mattered. Not the direction, not the purpose. He just had to run, run away from this confrontation.  
  
He unheeded the calls of his brother, growing more distant as he waded through the crowd, down a side lane, into an alley. He brushed past a tall boy, almost knocking him down.  
  
“What’s with him?” the boy exclaimed rubbing his arm. His eyes widened though as he watched his 'assailant' bump roughly into a man twice his size.  
  
Keisuke hardly remembered the faces of the people he had carelessly knocked into but this one had nearly broke his arm throwing him to the ground.  
  
He flinched, feeling the pain from the impact.  
  
“First, you don’t watch where you’re going and then you don’t even apologize?”  
  
Keisuke stared up at the brusque man with wide eyes. He had lost his voice. He looked like trouble. The alleyway wasn't the most crowded place on earth but the few onlookers had began to disperse afraid of being dragged in.  
  
“I said,” the man growled, grabbing him by the collar and shaking him roughly.

“ _Apologize_.”  
  
Keisuke looked away, the man’s breath smelled like alcohol. The adrenaline was pumping through his body like blood.  
  
“I’m waiting brat,” the man spat. Keisuke stared up at him, eyes flashing.

 _Low Life._  
  
“No.”  
  


~*~


	9. Glass Hearts

 

“Raiya you have no chill bro,”  
  
Yuto chuckled as his brother gave him a weird look. Ughh this creature was so cute Yuto wanted to squish him forever.

Raiya went back to bouncing on his heels and grinned too wide as the ice-cream vendor finally handed the young boy his three scoops on a cone with extra nuts and cream.  
  
“Now, what do we say Raiya?” Yuto reprimanded as the boy dug into his desert without hesitation. Raiya, rather irritated, peeked up from under his bangs.  
  
“I’m not five years old Ni-san,” he grumbled. Yuto raised an eyebrow. Raiya rolled his eyes before turning back to the vendor and bowed.  
  
“Thank you very much!”  
  
The man smiled and patted him on the head.  
  
Sighing, Yuto reached out his hand to grab Raiya who had started to drift away like the helium balloon he was but gasped in pain as he felt someone collide into him sideways instead before taking off without an apology.  
  
“What’s with him?” he grumbled, rubbing his arm. His anger morphed to horror immediately as he watched his 'assailant' collide against a swaggering man who in his fury grabbed him roughly before pushing him into a side lane.  
  
“Ni-chan?” Raiya called out as Yuto continued gaping. The pedestrians continued their undisturbed flow. Yuto’s eyebrows furrowed, his fists clenched.   
  
“Raiya, I need you to go home first,”  
  
“But-,”  
  
“No buts, now go,”  
  
Raiya took some reluctant steps but paused to watch his brother making his way cautiously into the sidelane.  
  
“Brother, be safe.”

~*~

  
Keisuke yelped as he was slammed against the wall, the impact making his eyes water.  
  
“You insolent little brat!”  
  
He felt his vision blur from the tears of his pain and he flinched as the man’s heavy footsteps came to a halt before him. He clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the blow from his raised fist.  
  
“Hold it right there!”  
  
Keisuke eyes snapped open and he scrunched up his face, his emotions tethering on the brink.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on him!”  
  
Keisuke’s eyes widened as they fell upon the fuming figure. His face was flushed, he was panting and sweating profusely and fists were clenched as he glared at the man with murder in his eyes. It was frightening, seeing the gentle and soft-spoken boy in his present state.   
  
“Or what?” the man barked back, narrowing his eyes. Keito scowled as Yuto placed a firm hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Keito, you know you can’t fight him,” he whispered, the tone of his voice thick with warning. His gaze travelled over the figure sprawled against the brick wall, and then to his face, immediately locking with Keisuke’s bewildered ones. The boy's eyes were bloodshot and he was holding his arm in pain. He couldn't believe it when he saw a very worried Keito dashing in after the two before he could but knowing that was his precious younger brother in pain made his blood boil. He gave the boy a reassuring nod although deep inside, he wasn't so sure of what really was about to happen.  
  
“Keisuke,” Keito began, voice stern.

“Come here,”  
  
Keisuke’s lips trembled as he looked away, his bangs sticking to his sweat-drenched face.  
  
“Why did you come after me?” he asked, voice cracking.

Keito frowned.  
  
“What do you mean idiot? Why did **_you_** just run off like that?”  
  
“Wouldn’t you be happier if I did and never came back,” Keisuke almost shouted back, eyes getting teary.  
  
Both the man and Yuto stood quietly and confused, unable to find a position in between the two brothers.  
  
“Why would I... Keisuke how could you even think of me like that?”  
  
“Well don't you? I can see right through you Keito, you're just too nice to admit it,” Keisuke snapped, holding his head with a hand that trembled from the outpouring of a hidden frustration. Keito looked back at him, hurt evident in his eyes.  
  
“I took your father from you... didn’t I?”  
  
Yuto wanted to shrink to a size invisible to the eyes and run. The conversation seemed a little too private for his presence. The man seemed even more lost.   
  
“Why are you quiet Keito? You do feel that way don’t you?” Keisuke yelled, his voice was getting hoarse.  
  
“I…I don’t…no…it’s not like that at all…just…,”  
  
Keisuke let out an almost strangled laugh.  
  
“I knew it,” he hissed, slamming his fist onto the trash bin by his side.  
  
“Hey... relax! You’re brother cares for you, a lot...,”  
  
Yuto had found his voice again. He flinched as Keisuke directed a murderous glare his way.  
  
“Who the hell are you to interfere?” he snapped.  
  
“Don’t talk to him like that!” Keito shouted back. Yuto took a few steps back, worry overtaking his logic.  
  
He was making matters worse.  
  
“Sure, let that stupid pole act like he knows what's going on and I should just up and listen?”  
  
Yuto frowned.  
  
 _Pole?_  
  
“He’s my best friend, and I won’t have you talking to him like that, got it?”  
  
Yuto began mumbling, trying to calm the two but finding no appropriate words to do so.  
  
“I… hate you,”  
  
Keito’s looked like he had been struck by lightening as Keisuke glared bloody murder.  
  
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” he screamed hysterically, clutching at his hair. Keito felt week all of a sudden, his stomach churning uncomfortably, eyes tearing up immediately. Yuto wanted the earth to swallow him whole.  
  
“I HATE YOU SO MUCH!”   
  
“Shut it,” the man spoke roughly and slapped Keisuke tight across his face. There was a sudden, awkward, really shocked silence.  
  
“That’ll be enough of your drama!”  
  
He turned to the shocked duo and cocked his head challengingly.

"I'm already having a bad day and it won't get better until I beat the pulp out of this tantrum-throwing brat!"

Keito nearly exploded.   
  
“I’m going to kill you!” he roared, attempting to lunge forward. Yuto held onto him, tightening his hold as Keito struggled viciously.   
  
“Let me go Yuto!”  
  
“NO!”  
  
Keito looked up at Yuto, eyes wide. Yuto shook his head, trying to calm him with a stern gaze.  
  
He then turned to the man and stood firm.  
  
“If you want to pick a fight, go find someone worth your strength, there’s no need to take it out on him... and for whatever he did to tick you off, I'm sorry,”  
  
“Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?” the man snapped and shoved Yuto roughly. The lanky boy gasped at the force and collided into Keito, sending them both tumbling onto the ground. The man then turned onto Keisuke and swung his leg, aiming for the boy’s stomach. His eyes widened though as he felt his limb halted firmly in its progress.   
  
Keisuke had grabbed the leg with an iron grip. The boy looked up before tugging his hands upwards. With a yelp the man came crashing onto the ground. As he lay flat on his back, still trying to comprehend what had actually happened, Keisuke got to his feet and walked over him to where Keito and Yuto were still struggling to untangle themselves.  
  
They froze as Keisuke stood by their side and without looking at them directly he said;  
  
“I’m going home.”  
  
Keito’s eyes widened as he spotted the developing bruise on Keisuke’s left cheek and neck. Just then, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

He felt lightheaded as he read the text message.  
  
“Keito, what’s wrong?” Yuto asked helping him up. Keito looked at him, worry evident in his features.  
  
“Dad’s coming home today.”

~*~


	10. Goodbye Dear Brother

 

Keito leaned back into the softness of the couch, arms crossed upon his chest, silence on his lips. He cast his vision upon the figure of his father, striding to and fro, busy on his phone. His eyes met with Yuto’s, who sat on the armchair nearby and he mouthed a silent apology for having him come along. Yuto shook his head and gave him an encouraging smile.

 

Keito sighed.

“What’s taking the boy so long?” Kenichi grumbled staring at the closed door of the young star’s room.

“Why father?”

“Why what Keito?”

“This decision, all of a sudden?”

Yuto began twiddling with his thumbs, uncertain of what to do as the conversation was in pure English. He began nursing his head, trying to ease the headache that had been growing since the confrontation and then the whole explaining to the police thing. It's a good thing he had taken his pills today. 

“Keisuke needs to further his training to excel in the music industry, and I’ve found him a pretty good coach,”

“But… South Korea?”

Kenichi sighed, rubbing his temples in slow heavy circles. He looked exhausted and Keito felt guilty for not being a help at all, but he was in no way ready to be separated from Keisuke. The sound of the boy's _'I hate you'_ s still resonated in his ear and it hurt, but he was not going to let their relationship end at that.

“I know it’s sudden, but the coach is a busy man, and I have to take Keisuke there to complete his training, you don’t have a problem with that do you?”

Keito looked away, afraid that his expressions might give out too much.

“It’s just that,” he began rather softly.

“It’s too sudden,”

Yuto had been watching the interaction silently from his corner of the room. His forehead wrinkled in puzzlement as he noticed a strange kind of anxiety suddenly appear in Okamoto Kenichi’s features.

 

It gave him a bad feeling, a very bad feeling.

“Is everything alright Okamoto-san?” Yuto asked regretting it the very next minute as he received a frustrated glare from the elder. It had gotten Keito’s attention, who was now gaping at his father, hints of worry now visible on his features.

“There’s no other problem, is there?” Keito pressed on, getting to his feet.

Just then, the door of Keisuke’s room opened and the tension in the room eased out all of a sudden, the attention being diverted to the star as he descended the stairs, hauling a bag along. His face was completely overshadowed by his large navy blue cap.

 

Yuto felt a pang of déjà vu.

“Ready?” asked Kenichi walking over to his adopted child. Keisuke nodded obediently, eyes downcast.

“What’s that?” Kenichi asked suddenly and Keito felt his stomach churn as he too spotted what his father had seen. Keisuke remained unresponsive as Kenichi pulled off his hat.

A heavy silence hung in the air as all eyes lingered on the bluish-purple bruise staining Keisuke’s right cheek. It seemed paler under make-up but it stood stark against the rest of the skin in trained eyes like Kenichi's.

“How did this happen?” Kenichi asked and Keito could feel the hint of controlled anger in his voice.

“Keisuke?”

The boy flinched at the severity of his father’s tone but he could not find the courage to speak at all.

“We had a fight,”

All eyes fell upon Keito. Yuto’s mouth was agape. Keisuke was staring at him in complete disbelief.

“Keito? You hit him?” Kenichi bellowed, outraged.

“No... NO NO he's lying, it was an accident!” Keisuke shouted out, panicking. Kenichi ignored him and strode over to his oldest, holding him by the shoulders.  


"You have been disobeying me?"

Keito nodded guiltily.

"Sorry father,"

"How did this happen?"

"It was my fault, we got into a fight... ended up with some trouble in the streets... Yuto and I took care of it though... even the one policeman,"

Keisuke groaned in frustration. Kenichi's grip on Keito's shoulders tightened a bit.

“That is why,” he began, his voice trembling with frustration.

“That’s why I had to keep the two of you apart, it’s because you can never understand the risks Keito, and you can’t ever understand me,”

Keito blinked, completely taken aback. Kenichi sighed, his grip becoming gentler.

“You see that face?” he said, pointing at Keisuke. Keito stared and nodded dumbly. Keisuke looked terrified as if he knew what was coming and was bracing himself for it.

“That little bruise could cost us a contract, his face is his most important asset, without it, he would still be a struggling artist,”

Keisuke bit his lip, putting his cap back on.

“I never meant to hurt you boys with all the things I've done, like separating the two of you after you had gotten so close. I knew you needed him because of the void I had created... and I brought him into the family all for you... but then I had to do it... for everyone's sake. I’m your father after all, but this industry is ruthless and that’s why…,”

Keito looked at his father, eyes wide. Kenichi’s grip around him had become firm but in a very affectionate, protective manner.

“That’s why I had to keep you away from it completely, to protect you from it,”

Keito felt his hands and feet go cold.

“You're my most precious son Keito, do you understand?” Kenichi asked, a smile in place. Keito gulped audibly before nodding.

Yuto’s eyes travelled to the boy standing behind the father and son and he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Keisuke was staring at the ground like a being devoid of emotions.  
 _  
I didn’t know which side I was on. I was happy for Keito, that his father loved him so much but I couldn’t help feeling concerned about his brother… he seemed perfectly whole yet at the same time completely broken. Okamoto Kenichi’s words had a strange effect on me, and I really couldn’t understand… what Keisuke actually was to him?  
_  
Keisuke looked up, his movements sluggish but froze as his eyes locked with Yuto’s. It was as if he could feel the sympathy radiating from the tall boy’s eyes.

_His eyes told me of his pain… and for some reason I felt very concerned for him. Maybe it was Keito's fondness of him that had rubbed off on Keito... or something about the very familiar cap._

And as if it was a trick of fate, it clicked… for the both of them.

_The guy from the train?_

“Let’s go Keisuke,”

Shaking himself out of his stupor, the boy placed a hand on his bag and watched his father walk out of the apartment.

“Do you see now Keito?”

Keito turned to his brother to find him smiling softly.

“Our father loves us, you… because you’re his one and only flesh and blood,”

He shuffled to the door and with his back to Keito, he continued;

“Me… because it’s his job.”

And the door was closed upon that.  


 

~*~

 


	11. Frequency of the Heart

 

“Bocchan, would you like to take the car today?”   
  
Tatsuya stiffened as his master shook his head, curls swinging softly with the movement. He raised an elegant hand and signaled for his dismissal.  
  
“As you wish,” replied Tatsuya, bowing swiftly before watching the young man make his way down the grand marble steps and onto the paved pathway. His gray jersey, worn-out jeans, Nike sneakers and the bag slung across his petite frame contrasted starkly with the suits of his servants, the well kept hedges flanking the cobblestone ground and the magnificent Manor he was leaving behind.   
  
“Kei?”  
  
The young man turned around immediately, fingers upon his music player, an earphone in one ear, the other dangling over his chest.  
  
“Library?”  
  
He nodded, eyes smiling softly at his older cousin.  
  
“I heard some of your classmates are having a party,”  
  
“I have to study,”  
  
“It’s the weekend Kei,”  
  
“I know, I just don’t want to be left behind,”  
  
Tegoshi sighed; there was definitely no arguing with the boy.  
  
“Alright, but when you come back, your father wants to have a word with the two of us,” he continued, hands in his pocket, observant eyes fixed upon the younger man. There was a silent anxiety, a strange awkwardness in what had seemed like an ordinary chat. After a few moments of poignancy, Inoo sighed deeply before smiling up at him.  
  
“I’ll see you at dinner then,”  
  
Tegoshi nodded as he watched Inoo plug in the remaining headphone before shuffling towards the main gates. He looked over at the head servant standing by the side of the main entrance and shook his head with a small smile.  
  
“It’s a cruel world isn’t it?” he sighed. Tatsuya stared at the floor.  
  
“It sure is Sir, it sure is.”

~*~

_  
“And a very good evening to our beloved listeners, this is Ari-chan coming to you live from our station in central Tokyo, please be well prepared as we occupy your frequencies for an hour of fun and music for your listening pleasure,”_  
  
Inoo dug his hands in his pockets as he made his way through the crowded street, the music drifting into his consciousness from his headphones, keeping him company.  
 _  
“Alright people, the first request comes from one of my favourite listeners, Key-san. He wishes all people of Tokyo a very good day and dedicates Utada Hikaru’s Hikari to…me? Oh, wow…thanks a lot Key-san,”_  
  
Inoo smiled softly.  _You’re welcome._

  
 _“You know people, me and Key-san go pretty far back. Although we have never actually met in person, Key-san was one of our early listeners and has been an avid follower of my show since it started about a year back. I remember his was the first ever dedication and song request that I had ever taken. What song was it again?”  
_  
Inoo frowned.  _Tokyo Nights._   
  
_“Ah yes, it was an Utada song as well…Tokyo Nights if I’m not mistaken and I remembered that he had dedicated it to me with a friendly ‘gambateh’, haha…I guess I must have sounded pretty nervous back then, it being my first show and all…anyways…thanks for always being there Key-san,”  
_  
 _Thanks for always being there for me, Ari-chan._  
  
Inoo came to a stand-still before the steps leading up to the library building. He looked around for a familiar face and his frown relaxed as he found one.  
  
“Been waiting long?” he asked turning off his music player. The young man before him grinned.  
  
“Nah, I just arrived as well, thanks for agreeing to accompany me, I know it’s the weekend and all and you’re already so busy-,”  
  
“Yabu shut it, let’s just get inside and start on our assignments, and then you’re treating me to lunch,”  
  
Yabu scowled. Inoo smirked.  
  
“Fine,” huffed the taller of the two before they set off towards the entrance.

  
~*~

  
“Good work today Dai-chan,”   
  
Arioka Daiki looked up to give his producer a smile and a thumbs up before slipping his back pack on.  
  
“Do you want me to drop you home?”  
  
“Massu senpai, I’m not a little kid,” Daiki grumbled, exiting his booth. Massu frowned.  
  
“I know I might look like I am,” Daiki continued and rolled his eyes as Massu nodded in agreement.  
  
“I’m out of here, I have a presentation due on Monday,” he said popping a gum into his mouth.  
  
“Take care my little DJ!” Massu called out and chuckled as Daiki gave him an irritated look before exiting the studio.  
  
“Little DJ? Really, when will people stop with the short jokes, it’s not even funny,” Daiki grumbled.   
  
He halted in his steps as he heard thunder sounding overhead. Groaning at his stupidity of not bringing an umbrella, he stepped out of the studio and ran across the street to stand under the shelter of the bus stop on the other side. He sat on the bench and looked at his watch. It was late into the afternoon but the dark clouds made it seem later than that. Yet, it would still be too early to go back home since his entire family won't be home till evening.  
  
The falling rain was a deluge, lashing the streets and the traffic mercilessly. Daiki looked to his side to find a lanky teenager sitting still with his eyes upon the sky. He had an umbrella in his hand.  
  
Daiki mused over the possibility of making his way across the massive grounds of the library. He could get his homework done until the rain subsided. He didn’t want to get more drenched than he already was and he definitely couldn’t risk catching a cold. Pulling out his scarf from his back pack, he wrapped it around his neck. His eyes travelled again to the boy and the object in his hand.  
  
Maybe he could borrow the kid’s umbrella. He cleared his throat loudly but frowned as he got no response. It was then he realized how pale the boy actually was and that his breathing seemed rather labored.  
  
“Are you alright?” he asked moving closer. The boy looked at him with bleary eyes.  
  
“I need to get to the airport,” he croaked weakly. Daiki cocked an eyebrow.  
  
“You should get someplace warm; you don’t look so good,”  
  
“But he’s leaving, that idiot is leaving the country,” the boy argued as if Daiki had a very good idea of what he was talking about. Of course he did not, but his concern for the stranger’s health kept him silent.  
  
“What is your name?” Daiki asked calmly. The boy scrunched up his face, as if trying to recall a distant memory. Daiki felt a pang of fear.  
  
“Um… It’s Ryutaro,” the boy replied finally but flinched as thunder sounded overhead.  
  
“Okay, calm down Ryutaro, I’m Daiki,”   
  
Ryutaro gave him a lopsided smile. Daiki shook his head and placed his palm onto Ryutaro’s forehead. His eyes widened.  
  
“It’s cold,” Ryutaro mumbled uncomfortably, inching away from Daiki’s hand.  
  
“You’re running a high fever,” Daiki said getting to his feet, a tone of urgency in his voice. He took off his jacket and placed it around the   
trembling boy. He looked at the library then back at the studio across the street.  
  
“Need to get you out of the cold,” he said, hauling Ryutaro onto his feet. He took the umbrella and opened it.  
  
“You know, my friend…Tanaka Keisuke is leaving the country and he just told me, do you believe the nerve of that guy!” Ryutaro chirped as Daiki began supporting him across the Library grounds.  
  
“You mean the actor?” Daiki asked bemused.  
  
“Yah… he does act up once in a while,” Ryutaro continued hazily, looking pretty miffed.  
  
“I think your high temperature is affecting you bad,” Daiki muttered struggling under his weight since Ryutaro was now completely leaning on him.

~*~

  
“Ne Yabu, remember that DJ I told you about?”  
  
“Yeah, you’re ‘ _Chicken Soup for the Soul_ ’ right?”  
  
Inoo made a face.  
  
“Did I really describe him like that?” he asked bemused as he watched Yabu bend over his papers, scribbling furiously.  
  
Yabu hummed in reply. Inoo sighed.  
  
“I don’t know Yabu, he’s surprisingly mature, he gives really good advice and his voice is rather … comforting; like an old friend talking to you,”  
  
“How old is he anyway?” Yabu asked nonchalantly. He scowled as his pencil tip broke.  
  
“Wow Yabu, since when have I had the ability to guess a person’s age by his voice?” Inoo retorted sarcastically only to be shushed by the patrolling librarian. He jumped as Yabu tore a paper into two and slammed his head against the table.  
  
“I hate my life,” he mumbled, lips against the hardwood desk. Inoo patted his head sympathetically.  
  
“Is it hard?” Inoo asked picking up a thick textbook that was lying open next to Yabu.  
  
“No, it’s just a lot of work… you should know very well Kei,” he muttered in response. Inoo nodded with a scowl, gaze lingering over his own pile of work.   
  
Just then the library door creaked heavily as they were pushed open and a single voice reverberated in the silent atmosphere, breaking it effectively. Inoo’s eyes widened as he recognized the voice awfully well.   
  
“Somebody help us please!”

~*~


	12. Blogger and Reader

 

“Don’t worry mom, I’ll be home soon,”  
  
Yuto ended his call and stared at the forlorn figure seated on the dining table. He inhaled sharply and allowed himself to fall back onto the couch, feeling utterly useless.   
  
He gazed at the hanging clock, a hand on his throbbing temple. He should make a move since he was supposed to get some shopping done on his way back, but he just couldn’t find the heart to leave Keito alone in this state. The persistent headache though gave him a bad feeling; it had been too much drama for one day.  
  
He fingered the keys on his phone, in an attempt to check his inbox; his mother would have sent the list for the grocery by now. His eyes widened as he spotted a certain commenter’s message on his past blog entry; the one in which he had dramatically revealed his deepest secret to the world.  
  
 _Ichigo-sama_.   
  
Keisuke’s face flashed in front of his eyes. Opening the mail with trembling hands, he was overwhelmed by the short yet meaningful text.  
  
 _'Worry not Drummerboy, I’ll travel the world if I have to, but I will do my best to bring your friend back to you… promise.'_  
  
“Ne Keito,”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“Does Keisuke like strawberries?”  
  
He heard a deep chuckle.  
  
“He’s obsessed with ‘em,”  
  
Keito watched Yuto barging out of the apartment with wide eyes.  
  
“What the-?”

~*~

  
Keisuke rubbed his weary eyes before stretching fully. He sighed deeply, inhaling the fresh air while watching the progress of the falling rain. He began humming to distract himself, as he waited patiently for his father’s car to appear from the underground parking area. He ran his fingers over the handle of his suitcase, feeling the smooth texture underneath his skin. He jumped though as he heard a loud voice from behind him.   
  
“Keisuke-kun, please wait!”  
  
He turned around swiftly and rolled his eyes.  
  
“What do you want _Tower-san_?”  
  
Yuto gasped as he felt a sharp pain in his chest and stumbled immediately to a halt. Dizziness overtaking him, he felt his knees buckle underneath him and braced himself for the impact onto the cemented floor.  
  
“Omph!”  
  
Yuto kept his eyes shut, waiting for the dizziness to pass. He remained limp in the arms of the one who had caught him, breathing steadying.  
  
“What the hell? Get off me!”  
  
Yuto shakily pushed himself into a sitting position, giving Keisuke an apologetic bow.  
  
“You… okay?” Keisuke asked rather hesitantly. Yuto nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as everything came back into focus.  
  
“I’m fine… Ichigo-sama,” he said rather impulsively. _It was worth a shot._  
  
He watched as Keisuke’s confused frown morphed into pure bewilderment.  
  
“You’re… you’re Drummerboy? That band on your blog… it’s the one Keito’s in?”  
  
Yuto nodded quietly. Both boys remained silent, Keisuke’s eyes upon the floor and Yuto’s upon him.  
  
“You’re really that ill huh?”  
  
Yuto sighed before nodding.   
  
“I’m sorry… for being so rude to you... honestly I feel like an ass... for everything,”  
  
Yuto shook his head.  
  
“I don’t need an apology Keisuke-kun, I can understand, I shouldn’t have interfered between the two of you,”  
  
“Nah I kind of was throwing a tantrum... I feel so stupid you have no idea,”  
  
There was silence once again. Keisuke scanned the entrance to the underground parking, frowning as the car he was waiting for had yet to   
arrive. It had been almost 15 minutes since he had left the apartment with his manager.  
  
“Does he know?”  
  
Yuto stared at him. Keisuke looked back at him sternly.  
  
“Does Keito know about your… illness?”  
  
Yuto shook his head again.  
  
“You can’t tell him,”  
  
“Why, he’ll be hurt-,”  
  
“Keisuke-kun, please, you need to keep this a secret for now,”  
  
“But-,”  
  
“Please,” Yuto pleaded. Keisuke frowned.  
  
“Keisuke!”  
  
Keisuke turned at the sound of his father, beckoning him towards their black car.  
  
“I… that’s my ride,” he said getting to his feet. He offered a hand to Yuto but was surprised when the boy bowed his head instead.  
  
“I need you to full fill your promise Keisuke-kun,”  
  
“Promise?”  
  
Yuto nodded.  
  
Keisuke gaped. He gulped down the hesitancy and wrapped his fingers firmly around Yuto’s arm. With surprising strength he pulled Yuto up to his feet.   
  
“You okay?” he asked as Yuto clutched the side of his head.  
  
“I’ll be okay,” Yuto replied, taking deep breaths.  
  
“Keisuke!”  
  
Keisuke waved at his father and held up his palm as if to say “5 minutes”.  
  
“I will find him for you,”  
  
Yuto stared at him intently, face strained with disbelief. Keisuke beamed; his pearly teeth bright against the dull surroundings and took Yuto’s hands in his own. Yuto felt another pang of déjà vu.  
  
“I’m serious,” Keisuke continued firmly, squeezing his hands gently.  
  
“But you need to do me a favour in return,”  
  
“What can I do for you?” Yuto asked, confused.  
  
Keisuke sighed.  
  
“Take care of my extra-sensitive brother until I bring your old friend back, is that fair?” he asked seriously. Yuto let out a strangled laugh before nodding fervently. Keisuke grinned.  
  
“Good, Ja ne!”  
 __  
Acting on impulse, it was something I had done countless times before but this would be the first time I had done something this unexpected. I don’t really know what I was expecting, except for the fact that I had become so desperate as to share a seemingly impossible dream with a person who had nothing to do with my past.  
  
Keisuke had taken only a few steps when he heard Yuto call him.  
  
“Please wait,”  
  
Keisuke looked at him, confused. Yuto slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his most prized possession before walking over to the shorter boy. He handed the badge over to him.  
  
“Yamada Ryosuke?” Keisuke read out.

Yuto nodded.  
  
“The only clue I have of him, keep it safe, please,”  
  
“Keisuke, we’re going to be late for our flight!” Kenichi shouted over the noise of the downpour. Keisuke gave him a wave to let him know he heard.  
  
He then placed a comforting hand on Yuto’s shoulder and squeezed gently.  
  
“I will, until we meet again, goodbye…Yuto-kun.” 

 

~*~

  
Okamoto Kenichi watched his young star shuffle towards him, dragging his suitcase along. His eyes narrowed at the lanky figure watching him before shifting to his driver.  
  
"Use all short cuts that you know, we need to leave Japan on this flight no matter what the consequence," he said sternly. The driver nodded.  
  
"As you wish sir,"  
  
Kenichi began tapping the window impatiently until Keisuke slid in next to him.  
  
"Sorry,"  
   
He shook his head nonchalantly and motioned for the driver to start moving. Unbeknown to them, the driver reached down to a black revolver hanging from his belt, as if to confirm it's presence before placing his hands back onto the steering wheel.  
  
"Fasten your seat belts please," he began.  
  
" _It's going to be  a rough ride_."

 

~*~


	13. Family Names

 

“So, that’s why you’re here?”  
  
Silence filled the insides of the room, oblivious to the cheerful laughter of the children in the courtyard beyond its walls. Chinen gave the floor a bitter glare, fighting back the oncoming tears.  
  
“I was just trying to help,” he muttered, gritting his teeth.  
  
“I’m grateful for your pity, but I’ve lived 13 years as Yuya, the boy without a surname and I’m fine with it,”  
  
“They want you back!”  
  
Takaki’s eyes flashed dangerously, making Chinen flinch. He had never seen the older boy this way before.  
  
“I’ve taken the name now, I think that is enough, it’s enough that the world will know me as Takaki Yuya, but I’ll never give them the privilege to have me as a part of their family.”  
  
“They are your family and you can never change that,” Chinen retorted. Takaki bowed his head, fists clenched tight.  
  
“I know, but unlike your family Yuri, they didn’t come back for me, they were willing to forget that I’d even existed!”  
  
Chinen remained silent.  
  
“I’m fine the way I am, thanks for all the trouble and just…leave…please,”  
  
Chinen watched with a frown as Takaki walked out of the room. His fingers curled around the roll of the foreign newspapers by his side and he furled it open, staring at the headlines.  
  
 _‘7 year old son of Japanese International Business Tycoon abducted, family fails to meet ransom demands’_  
  
‘Takaki Business Collapses, the downfall of an empire’  
  
‘Police fails to find kidnappers of 7 year old Yuya Takaki, boy remains missing’   
  
Chinen sighed and stuffed the newspapers back into his bag before getting to his feet. It really was a waste of time, coming back to the one place he despised more than anywhere else.  
  
He held his breath as the door swung open but was slightly disappointed as the person entering the room wasn’t Yuya.  
  
“I brought you some mochi and some tea for your nerves,” said Yasuda-san with a gentle smile. She placed the tray on the little table in the middle of the room and got to her knees, pouring the tea into two cups.  
  
“It was very sweet of you,” she said as Chinen approached her.  
  
“Yuya doesn’t seem to feel the same,” he mumbled bitterly. The owner of the orphanage smiled.  
  
“You know Yuri, 13 years ago, a black van had stopped outside the gates of this Home and they had dropped Yuya here before leaving in a hurry. I was in the garden. It was just a few minutes before sunrise and the poor boy had nothing on but a simple shirt on with summer shorts. It was the middle of November and he was shivering. I rushed to him and tried to get him inside. It was the hardest thing to do especially when he kept staring at me like I was some strange creature from another planet,”  
  
Chinen chuckled as Yasuda-san pushed the sweets towards him.  
  
“It was the weather that helped me out, I managed to get him into warm clothes, fed and sent to sleep. He was a difficult child, and that’s why I thought he must’ve had a hard time before being left at the Home. He was quiet, withdrawn, and unfriendly and I was having trouble fitting him with the other kids. They were all afraid of him. He even bit a senior,”  
  
“Bit?” Chinen asked amused. Yasuda-san nodded with a laugh.  
  
“The first time I heard him speak to anyone dear, was 4 years later, when you came along and became his roommate,”  
  
Chinen sipped his tea in silence, remembering how Yuya had comforted him on his first night, when he had been lost and terrified of the world.  
  
“He had taken you as a younger brother, good lord... he was so protective and possessive over you it was frightening,”  
  
“Then my parents found me,” Chinen continued for her, placing his cup onto the hardwood table.  
  
“It was a miracle, you and him had an almost similar case; you were kidnapped by people holding grudges against your family and then dropped at this Home when they failed to meet the ransom demands, but you were lucky that your parents lived in the same country and they came all the way here looking for you,”  
  
“He didn’t talk to me, the day I was leaving,” Chinen said.  
  
“He cried,” Yasuda-san replied, draining her tea. Chinen stared at her.  
  
“Yes boy, he used to cry himself to sleep after you left, for almost a week, he couldn’t fit in with anybody else either. His school life had always been rather turbulent but he never involved anybody, independent from the start that’s what he was, nobody knew when he graduated and started working, but over the years, I had become so dependant on him that I was actually afraid of the day he would leave,”  
  
“He seems rather grown up now,” Chinen commented with an exasperated sigh. Yasuda-san smiled at him.  
  
“I know…he’s not very open and seems rather cold, but you of all the people should know that the boy has a heart of gold. Don’t let his words hurt you, the world had been harsh on him, that’s why he seems so tough, but he still feels…maybe even more than you and me.”

  
~*~


	14. Connecting the Dots

 

“Is he going to be alright senpai?” Daiki asked with a frown as he watched Yabu wrap the unconscious boy in his jacket.  
  
“It’s just a high fever Arioka, we’ll find a way to drop him home when he wakes up,” Yabu replied. He then threw a confused glance at Inoo who was gaping at Ryutaro with a very strange expression.  
  
“Is he alright?” Daiki whispered, cocking his head at Inoo. Yabu shrugged.  
  
“He seems familiar,” he continued. Yabu gave him a smile.  
  
“We’re all at the same university Arioka, he’s in the Architecture department,”   
  
“Oh, so that’s why,”   
  
Yabu nodded.  
  
They all became alert as Ryutaro stirred, bleary eyes blinking open. His eyes fell upon Inoo, who stood right before him and after a few seconds of trying to gather his senses together, he forced apart his dry lips and croaked out;  
  
“Inoo-chan?”  
  
Inoo was by his side in the blink of an eye.  
  
“What the hell are you doing Ryutaro? How did you end up like this?” he asked, concern straining his tone.  
  
“Oh, so they know each other,” Yabu exclaimed.  
  
“Um…it’s a small world?” Daiki replied awkwardly.  
  
“I want to go home,” Ryutaro croaked back, face as bland and expressionless as possible. Inoo nodded, reaching for his phone in his pocket before violently smashing the key for the first number on his speed dial.  
  
As Inoo exasperatedly waited for the person on the other end of the line to pick up, Yabu began rummaging through his bag for his water bottle, his eyes widening as he realized something was amiss.  
  
His search became violent and he groaned as he found no trace of his precious song book.  
  
 _'I must have left it at the restaurant!'_ He remembered miserably.  
  
“PICK UP YOU IDIOT!”  
  
Daiki chuckled as Inoo was shushed severely by the annoyed librarian (the one who had been hovering around them like a vulture ever since they managed to coax her into lending them a corner of a private reading area).   
  
“What’s wrong senpai?” Daiki asked at the horrified look on Yabu’s face. Yabu merely shrugged weakly in return.  
  
Inoo clicked his tongue as his call was finally answered with a very sleepy,

“Moshi Mosh?”  
  
“Yaotome Hikaru why the hell are you still asleep? It’s in the middle of the afternoon!” Inoo gritted furiously, trying his best to keep his voice down. Yabu’s head snapped to his direction, eyes widened.  
  
“Mou Kei, I only have one day off and our practice doesn’t start until 4,”  
  
“Idiot, get out of bed and come to the bus station in front of the library near…,”  
  
“Kanagawa Studio,” Daiki piped in. Inoo nodded rather nervously.  
  
“Near the Kanagawa Studio, Ryutaro’s with me and he’s running a fever,”  
  
Inoo rolled his eyes as he heard the loud sounds of Hikaru toppling off his bed, cursing, and then banging his head against something hard before he was back on the phone.  
  
“I’ll be right there, wait for me.”  
  
Inoo flipped his phone shut.  
  
“Yabu, where are you going?” he asked bewildered as the older man slung his bag over his shoulder.  
  
“I need to go look for something,”  
  
“Running away from something more likely,” Ryutaro croaked, eyes still closed. Inoo raised an eyebrow as Yabu paled.   
  
“What makes you say that?” Daiki asked taken aback by the sudden statement.  
  
“Just guessing, that’s how I look when dad keeps asking me about my part time job,”  
  
“What is that really?” Inoo asked suspiciously. Ryutaro yawned.  
  
“Use your imagination,” he huffed. Inoo stared at the boy on his lap in disbelief. Even in this state the boy had enough energy to be his usual sarcastic self.  
  
“I’ll see you later ‘kay?” Yabu muttered before taking off. The trio remained in silence for what seemed like an hour.  
  
“What department?” Inoo asked suddenly, eyes still on the sleeping boy. Daiki looked at him in slight surprise.  
  
“Mass Media and Communication,” he replied cheerfully.  
  
“Do you work?” Inoo asked again, checking Ryutaro’s forehead. Daiki blinked.  
  
“I’m a DJ at Kanagawa Studio,” he replied, feeling a little nervous with the boy’s strict demeanour.  
  
“Ari-chan?” Inoo asked, successfully hiding his anticipation. Daiki beamed.  
  
“You listen to my show!”   
  
“Sometimes,” Inoo mumbled, still avoiding eye contact. Daiki nodded with a smile.  
  
“Send me a request sometimes, I’ve got an awesome collection back at the studio, is there any particular artist you like…um…let me guess…Bonz? Mr. Children?Arashi?”  
  
“Utada Hikaru,” Inoo replied simply, giving Daiki a startling smile. Daiki stared, slightly flabbergasted.  
  
“… Nice… choice,” he replied, eyebrows arching into a frown.

 

~*~  
 

The fumes were thick gray and hot, swirling around the wild flames that swallowed the black vehicle whole as it lay crumpled against the gravel floored slope. The railing by the roadside above had been dented and broken through, like a ribbon ripped apart.  
  
A train was missed and two passengers were left behind as the plane heading for Seoul took off into the afternoon sky.

**  
~*~**


	15. Chaotic Overtones

 

“Are you serious? A real band?”  
  
Inoo hummed quietly, nimble fingers testing the sounds of his keyboard. He looked up and smiled slightly as Daiki scurried around the room, peeking under the cover of Yuto’s drums and gasping with amazement.  
  
“Ne ne Inoo-san, play something please!” he said rounding upon Inoo and staring at him with pleading eyes. Inoo raised an eyebrow at the request and fell into a momentary silence.  
  
“What do you want me to play?” he asked softly.  
  
Daiki smiled rather cheekily, startling him.  
  
“Something from Utada,”   
  
Inoo chuckled shyly before placing his fingers over the white keys. Daiki dug his hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on the older boy.

The room was peaceful, imbued with the golden honey glow of the late afternoon sun flowing in from one solitary window high up on the wall.   
  
The corner of Inoo’s lips tugged into a little smile as his fingers began their dance.  
  
Daiki began nodding his head to the subtle tones, a little smile in place.   
  
‘ _He’s good_ ,’ he thought, enjoying the composition.  
  
However, a few seconds into the song, and Daiki found himself gasping in complete disbelief.  
  
Here he thought he had found a little group of amateur wannabes playing songs in a basement… and now he found himself stunned, heart beat rapid, feet frozen in one place, mouth agape.  
  
Inoo Kei was no amateur.

It was beautiful… his style, his grace, his music… the way his slender fingers danced upon the ivory keys with apt and poise and the way his loose curls swayed around his face framing a confident, content expression called for attention.   
  
The melody…  _his_ melody. It was a song without lyrics but the music spoke volumes... it was loud and soft and then strong and gentle.   
  
Unbeknownst to them, the door was slightly ajar, and the extent of talent displayed within the room had taken all who stood outside by surprise.

Inoo had been holding himself back the whole time.   
  
Yuto closed his eyes… and felt it. He knew they all felt it…Keito with his fake reassurances of his well being, Takaki with his unbreakable silence and Hikaru… Hikaru with his personal collection of emotions, locked up behind a silly grin.

Inoo played what they couldn't express... something they had been trying to do through their songs but couldn't.   
  
 _Chaotic…the world is a mess, a great mass of confusion…a display of clashing emotions and actions…_  
  
Like a well written symphony, with no pitch too high or too low, no tempo too fast or too slow…  
  
We try to live our lives within the lines drawn to keep us safe…  
  
No risks taken, no chances attempted…  
  
No smiles lost, no tears shed…  
  
No blood spilt, no wound engraved…  
  
No feelings revealed, no grudges dismissed,  
  
No lies spoken, No truths realized,  
  
It was nothing like what we had done in the past; kept ourselves safe from getting hurt, afraid to face the realities around us, in fear of not being able to handle the pain…  
  
But what was this Inoo-chan? You’re music…the way you were playing…overflowing with chaos yet completely under your control…  


 _It was something else, something new…something different…_  
  
It was bold, it was challenging…you were attempting the impossible, taking the chance, you were standing up against something powerful, something you never told us…maybe finding us incapable of understanding your troubles…

 _Just like the rest of us._  
  
I salute you my friend… for the courage in your music, for the courage in your heart…  
  
Hopefully one day, we would be able to measure up to you…and break free... in the way we are meant to.  
  


~*~

 


	16. Dreamer's Truth

  
_I could never understand the reason behind my awful nightmares. They were always so vivid, real... graphic. I guess I had a pretty weird imagination. The smallest of worries hovering in the back of my mind would materialise in some form or another and have me screaming myself awake.  
  
This time, I found myself standing in a meadow before a round table. Upon it stood a basket of the reddest, juiciest looking strawberries I had ever seen. I found myself walking towards them before starting to gorge them down hysterically, even when I felt like puking. The air had started to become thick and foggy making me choke. My eyes then fell upon a car parked at a distance from where I stood, lit up by a hungry blaze. To my horror, a hand, the skin charred and peeling, stuck out from the back window amongst the bellowing fumes and began waving a soot covered school badge.  
  
It was in the middle of the night when I got that call. I wasn’t angry at the disturbance, yet rather glad as it had awoken me from the bizarre dream. I found myself shivering of the cold, my body drenched in sweat. With shaky hands I reached for the bottle of water on the side of my bed and turned the lamp on.  
  
I hated waking up in a dark room right after a nightmare.  
  
The phone started ringing again and squinting at the screen I was extremely surprised to know that it was Keito. After all, it wasn’t in his nature to give me a call at 3 o’clock in the morning, so naturally, I was extremely anxious as I answered his call.  
_  
“Keito-chan? Is everything alright?”   
  
“Yu…Yuto…,”  
  
Yuto’s eyes widened at the tremble in his friend’s voice and the way he was almost choking on his sobs.  
  
“Keito, what’s wrong?” he asked, alert.  
  
“My father and Keisuke...,”  
  
Yuto felt his heart clench as Keito burst into hysterical sobs on the other end of the line. He could feel his own eyes sting.  
  
 _No, it can’t be_.  
  
“Keito, calm down… where are you?”  
  
“A..at ho..home,”  
  
“I’ll be right over, just try to remain calm okay?”  
  
“Yu..Yuto…thank you,”  
  
Ending the call, Yuto immediately dialled Hikaru’s number.  
  


 

 

 

There was complete silence in the Okamoto living room. The clock showed four am, yet the apartment was lit up completely, five boys seated at   
a distance yet close enough.  
  
Keito nodded as Inoo took the half-drunk glass of water from his hand. Hikaru stood up from his seat and walked up to Yuto who sat next to his distraught best friend.  
  
“Now, tell us what happened?”  
  
Keito gulped and took a deep breath.  
  
“After we came back from our practice, I made myself dinner and retired early. It was around midnight when I got a call from my dad’s assistant,”  
  
“And?” Hikaru coaxed, kneeling before the boy.  
  
“He said that they never appeared for the train heading to Narita International Airport, and they missed their flight. Tracing the car, they found it…,”  
  
“Keito?” Inoo asked anxiously as the younger man’s hands started shaking violently.  
  
“They found the car in a ravine, way off course,”  
  
“And… Okamoto-san? Keisuke-kun?”   
  
Keito cast a teary glance in Yuto’s direction. Yuto’s heart sank.  
  
“The car’s been mutilated and burnt completely; they started the search for any…any trace of their bod…,”  
  
Yuto lunged towards him as Keito collapsed into uncontrollable sobs and pulled the older boy close.  
  
Takaki looked away from the scene as Inoo sighed before giving Hikaru a helpless look.   
  
“Why? Why did this happen, it’s not fair!” Keito wailed, tightening his grip around Yuto, who bit his lip, failing to hold back his own tears.  
  
 _Keisuke_   
  
Images from his dream flashed before his eyes.  
  
 _Why did I see something like that?_  
  
The next ten minutes, which seemed more like an eternity was spent in silence broken only by Keito’s sobs.  
  
Yuto stood up immediately, a surge of dizziness making his guts clench. Keito looked up at him confused. Just then, the phone rang.  
  
Keito lunged for the receiver.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
Yuto dropped his body back onto the couch, holding himself close and keeping his eyes shut. He couldn’t see Hikaru’s concern at his behavior but his eyes snapped open as he heard the words tumble out of Keito’s mouth along with the strange tone of his voice.  
  
“Who…who the hell are you?”

  
~*~


	17. Fate

“What’s the matter Hikaru-kun?”  
  
The boy lifted his bleary eyes to find Mukoda and Maria-san looking down at him concerned.   
  
“Let the boy be, can’t you see he’s exhausted!”  
  
Both ladies ignored Hiroshi-san’s order from the kitchen and practically hovered around the boy seated on a stool with his head on the counter, examining him intently.  
  
“Seems like you’ve been losing sleep,” Mukoda commented with an air of mystery. Maria-san nodded in agreement.  
  
“What’s the matter Yaotome, girlfriend trouble?” she snapped poking his ribs. Hikaru flinched and gave her a scowl.  
  
“That does seem to be the case,” she concluded.  
  
“Excellent deduction my dear,” Maria-san said with an appreciative nod of her head.  
  
“Oii, Conan, Kindaichi, buzz off will ya!” Honjo snapped before placing a mug of steaming coffee in front of Hikaru.  
  
“I’m fine, just had a rough night,” Hikaru replied, failing to stifle a yawn. He rolled his eyes at the two gasps behind him but choked on his coffee as he heard Mukoda scream.  
  
“What the hell is wrong with you woman!” Hikaru exclaimed rounding upon her but froze as he spotted the source of her exaggerated reaction.  
  
Yabu bit his lip and looked down, hands behind his back like a child caught doing something wrong. People were still staring at the hyperventilating Mukoda.  
  
There was a strange silence between them before Maria grabbed Mukoda and Honjo, dragging them into the kitchen with superhuman strength.  
  
“Ya…bu?” Hikaru croaked, finally finding his voice. His eyes were widened in disbelief. The way the older man’s lips twisted in such a familiar smile, his eyes becoming sparkling slits on his face. How could he have not recognized him in the first place?  
  
“Hi,” Yabu replied with a shy wave.  
  
“Hisashiburi,”

~*~

  
“Are you sure about this Inoo-chan?” Keito asked a little awkwardly. Inoo looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile.  
  
“While the police investigate last night’s phone call, I don’t think it is safe for you to be by yourself,”  
  
“But, won’t your family mind… me staying over at your place that is,”  
  
Inoo shook his head.   
  
“They don’t really care, besides, you being here by yourself worrying about a man calling you up to demand ransom for your father and brother and those annoying detectives hovering around you like vultures, not my cup of tea,”  
  
Keito smiled slightly, feeling a bit at ease. He had spent the entire night crying over the call and secretly dreaded to spend another minute in that apartment by himself.   
  
“Yo!”  
  
Inoo rolled his eyes as he spotted Daiki leaning against a lamp post.  
  
“What do you want?” he snapped. He threw his gaze upon the road, searching for his car that had yet to arrive.  
  
“I’m stalking you,”  
  
Inoo glared at Daiki, whose gaze was fixed upon his IPod.  
  
“And why Arioka-san, are you doing that?”  
  
Keito stifled a chuckle as Daiki beamed.  
  
“I’m in love,”  
  
Inoo stiffened as Keito’s jaw dropped. Daiki started laughing.  
  
“With you music Inoo-san, I’m a big fan,”  
  
Inoo rolled his eyes.  
  
“In a day?” he asked raising an eyebrow. Daiki nodded enthusiastically.  
  
“Can I please stalk you?” he asked, eyes pleading.

Inoo blinked.  
  
“You’re actually asking for permission?” he asked in disbelief.  
  
“I know my values well,” Daiki chirruped, defending himself.  
  
Inoo was finding it hard to digest. Luckily, he didn’t have any more time as a slender black limousine came to a stop next to him.  
  
An elder in a fine suit stepped out of the car and opened the door with a swift bow. Inoo nodded.  
  
He looked back at Daiki and Keito who were gaping at him.  
  
“Tatsuya, this is Keito, he’ll be staying with us for now,”  
  
Tatsuya gave Keito a graceful bow before taking his bag from him.   
  
“Want to come over for lunch Ari-chan?” Inoo asked with a hint of slyness in his voice. Daiki, mouth still agape and too shocked to even acknowledge the use of his radio name nodded dumbly.  
  
He waved a hand towards the open door of the limo.  
  
“Get in.”

~*~

  
Ryutaro frowned at the message on his phone.  
 ** _  
Hamsterman, this is an emergency, meet me at the usual spot.  
  
Little Squirrel_** **** __  
  
He seated himself on the park bench, breathing in the fresh air. It was a beautiful morning, but still too early for the park to be crowded.

It was a weekday after all.  
  
Come to think of it, he was supposed to be at school, but thanks to ‘ _his Highness_ ’ and his ‘ _emergency_ ’, he had to skip it.  
  
It was surprising though, that he just used his normal nickname minus all the extra frills. He grins as he remembered the last message he had gotten. That boy had addressed himself as the Most Magnificent, Gracious, Supreme, Ultimately Gifted, Undoubtedly Handsome, not so little, Little Squirrel.  
  
It was tough, he thought, to be the back dancer of a total self-obsessed diva.  
  
“I’m not a total self-obsessed diva,”  
  
Ryutaro swore he felt his heart spring out of his chest.  
  
“What the hell Chinen, stop acting like you can read my mind!” he exclaimed as the shorter boy plopped down next to him. Chinen smirked.

Chinen smirked.  
  
“But I can read your mind,” he replied simply. Ryutaro rolled his eyes.   
  
“So, what was the major emergency?” Ryutaro asked irritated. Chinen loosened the tie around his neck and leaned back into the bench. His eyes closed, his face seemed to bear a rather solemn air and it made Ryutaro uncomfortable.  
  
“Keisuke,”   
  
Ryutaro’s eyes widened at the mention of their mutual friend.  
  
“He supposedly left for Korea yesterday,” he spoke, a slight bitterness to his tone. Chinen sighed.  
  
“Have you watched the news?”  
  
Ryutaro shook his head.  
  
“Nah, me and Shintaro had a fight over which channel to watch and we ended up cracking the screen,”  
  
Chinen rolled his eyes.  
  
“There was a car crash yesterday, the media has yet to announce the identity of the passengers,”  
  
“So?”  
  
“Akanishi-san, my manager and Okamoto-san’s assistant showed up to the studio in the morning looking like he hadn’t slept for days before shutting himself in a meeting with the higher ups, I have a bad feeling,”  
  
“You don’t suspect that Keisuke was in that car do you?” Ryutaro spluttered, worry overtaking his features.  
  
Chinen looked at him sharply.  
  
“Something is definitely wrong because I once overhead Akanishi-san droning on about Okamoto-san and his rumored connection with a Yakuza clan,”   
  
Ryutaro’s big eyes bulged at the mention of the term _Yakuza_.  
  
“If Keisuke is in some kind of trouble because of that, then we’re going to rescue him,”  
  
Ryutaro gaped.  
  
“We? Rescue Keisuke? From the Yakuza?”  
  
“You actually sound dumber than usual you know?” Chinen snapped. Ryutaro scowled.  
  
“Do you even know what you’re saying Chii? How will two teenagers go against gangsters who thrive on the blood of the innocent!”  
  
“Stop playing your stupid games Ryutaro, they’re gangs and criminals, not vampires!”  
  
“But still, do you even what a Yakuza clan is like?”  
  
Ryutaro was taken aback as Chinen got to his feet abruptly, his back to him.  
  
“I was 9 when they took me from my family, just because one of my dad’s young cousin owed them money,”  
  
Ryutaro stared at the boy, completely dumbfounded.  
  
“I probably don’t know how it works, or what their principles are, but I know I wasn’t the only one who fell victim due to other’s mistakes,”  
  
Chinen clenched his fingers into a fist as Takaki’s face flashed in front of his eyes.  
  
“All I know is that I will do all that is in my power, to protect those I care about from suffering the same fate.”

  
~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry took so long to update! Expect very regular ones from now on :) Thank you for reading!


	18. My Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update for today :)

  
_Okamoto Kenichi remembers it clearly…that quaint little town._  
  
It had been a pretty little suburb with its cool breeze and narrow roads that went rolling through the vast rice fields. It's damp riverbanks hosted an assortment of wildflowers, sprouting out mischievously from the soil. The Sakura trees stood magnificently upon the ground and rained blossoms upon those that graced the path beneath it. That one bridge, that all school children crossed on their way home.  
  
And **that boy** …he would never forget **that boy** …  
  
That boy was just like his hometown; bursting with energy, eyes shining with mischief, smile brimmed with immeasurable bliss.  
  
He was a happy child, a beautiful child…   
  
He couldn’t remember why of all places, he would be called to this place. He was a man who had traveled the world; France, Germany, Korea. It was a part of his job… scouting for talent that would embrace his homeland with glory.  
  
But when his employer had assigned him this little town and a certain 8-year-old who seemed as ordinary as any sun-wrecked, soccer-loving kid, he found himself as bemused as ever. Maybe this was the company’s desperation showing. With debts piling up to the knees and no back up from a weak economy, the company’s only choice to thrive would have been a magnanimous debut of a young talent.  
  
He was good at his job, being an ex-artist himself… he knew he would dig out gold even in a desert.  
  
When he offered the boy a spot in a magazine shoot for kids, his parents had been overjoyed, the child though was indifferent.   
  
It only took that one shoot though for him to realize the boy’s potential. The camera loved him, and he loved the camera in return. His smile was dazzling, demeanor charming, and his eyes sparkled with an unsung determination to prove himself. The boy even turned out to be mature beyond his years and although bearing no definite musical talent… he was an exceptionally quick learner.  
  
It was then he realized… he had found a diamond in the rough… the salvation for his dying company…  
  
It was a mistake though…everything had been a mistake. He had known from the start that his boss had had bad terms with a certain Yakuza clan, yet he had never guessed that he would be pulled into the chaos and become a reluctant bystander as his company suffered because of his boss’s wrongdoings.  
  
And that little boy, their most important talent… in a shocking term of events, would become their target…  
  
Kenichi doesn’t remember how long he had been struggling against the binds on his wrist. The cords cut into his flesh and the crate behind his back was already making him sore. He tried to remain as silent as possible though, 5 of his kidnappers were seated around a table close by, engrossed in their Poker game.  
  
He turned his head slightly and felt his eyes tear at the sight of the body curled next to him. Keisuke was still unconscious, but his thin T-shirt and jeans did nothing to protect him from the cold of the dark and damp warehouse.  
  
He was clutching a badge in one of his hands.  
  
Kenichi stifled a guilt-ridden sob but could not hold back a tear.  
  
He did not deserve this… Keisuke did not deserve to be punished like this.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, eyes fixed on the sleeping boy.  
  
“I’m sorry for making you suffer my child, for keeping you away from the family that would have loved you right, for thrusting you in a world that would tarnish your innocence, a world that tested your patience, your strength… the goodness that you hold within,”  
  
“I’m sorry, for taking away from you what was rightfully yours and not compensating you well for it, I’m sorry for using you for my own advantage, my own protection…”  
  
He shifted closer to the boy, eyes never leaving the peacefulness of his face.  
  
“I really am sorry… Ryosuke.”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Jump are not an idol group in this story and for now have only five members. The fic is mostly Yuto-centric.


End file.
